Mom is thinking about getting a b*rk d*terrent and my entire family is against me

[georgia56]

So to start off my Mom has a Standard Poodle who’s around a year old. Ruby. She barks a lot. I thinks it’s a mixture of alert barking and just not having enough stimulation. My doesn’t walk, train, or provide much activity for her. She gets chews and we have lots of inedible bones and she gets to play with my sisters puppy everyday but that’s about it. We are all disabled and depressed and we can’t really do much. My mom is also super busy all the time even when she’s home. Ruby barks at noises she hears and things she sees out the living room windows (my mom refuses to close the blinds). Mom wants to get the “Bark Begone”. I’ve tried explaining that they are aversive and only work because they annoy or hurt the dog but my Entire Family either argues that they aren’t either of those things or that it’s fine to use aversives because “it’s unavoidable sometimes and they work” or that it doesn’t matter if they hurt the dog because it’s not doing permanent damage. I tried to compare it to blowing a shrill whistle in my moms ear every time she tried to show me something but it just resulted in a lecture on how aversives are unavoidable and don’t harm your dog or your relationship with your dog in the long run and that spanking was the only thing that house trained my sisters dog and the dog still loves them. (That does appear to be true.) Even my sister who has been on this subreddit and knows what I’m talking about wouldn’t back me up and even argued with me! I’m so upset I could cry and I’m worried about Ruby. I tried explaining theres scientific studies that support my position and they just say “there’s scientific studies to support every position” and implied they were biased. I tried to explain there’s more things mom can try and they just said I should do it myself. I’m gonna try. How do I get them to understand? We all live in the same house so the dog I’m getting soon will also be affected by this stupid device. I can’t move out. What can I do?

Edit: she also wants to use it to control Ruby’s jumping especially during greetings

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@georgia56 It'll work sure, but now you're going to deal with possible aggression, fear, and trust issues.. Why on Earth would that ever be a viable solution? They're going to ruin that poor dog at the cost of a few moments of silence. If they want to keep a good happy dog in their homes, torturing the poor thing is not going to help at all, and will in fact make things significantly worse.

Dogs don't just stop. They'll continue doing it when you're not looking. They don't understand the concept of being punished, they'll only view it as you being mean to them and they'll only anticipate when you leave so they can continue. So on top of this, they're damaging the dog's trust with anyone/everyone in the household.

Start providing factual evidence and tell them to do their own research and show their sites, this sub has lots of valuable information you can pass down and link.

Are they just that lazy to take aside some spare time to properly train them?? It's really not that hard, these are basic things that can be fixed with determination. A dog shouldn't be punished that severely over the way they communicate.. Rehoming sounds way better than that kind of treatment.

 

[georgia56]

@imagebeastmarkbeast I’ve tried telling them but they don’t believe it. My sisters dog has stopped going in the house even when we’re gone so they’ll never believe that aversives don’t work. I’ve sent my mom some of the studies idk if she’ll care.

I don’t know if she’s lazy but she is chronically ill, depressed, stressed out and busy. She shouldn’t have gotten a dog but she’s most likely not going to rehome her and if she did she’d be resentful

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@georgia56 Somebody in that household needs to take training initiative or they'll be abusing that dog for quite literally no reason. Whether it's you or your sister, has anyone made an effort to make them stop? Like..... Actual methods. Not hitting, bapping the nose, or anything like that.

 

[georgia56]

@imagebeastmarkbeast Mom says she’s “spent hours reinforcing quiet”. Not sure what exactly she means. We all have health and mental issues. I’m gonna have to take over most likely but I have my own puppy coming in like 3 weeks I don’t know how it’s gonna work. But I’m gonna try to convince my mom to let me try before she gets the bark begone

 

[nichola1970]

@georgia56 Do not bring another dog there while you all can’t take care of the one you have.

 

[turnkeyforex]

@georgia56 I would not get a puppy if your entire family is struggling to take care of one dog properly. I'm sorry but it doesn't sound like you're in a good place to get one right now.

 

[kel_sulz235]

@georgia56 If they aren’t willing to take the time to properly train, provide appropriate stimulation/enrichment then they should be looking for a new home for him. It’s not fair for the dog or in his best interest to keep him in that constant state of stress.

 

[georgia56]

@kel_sulz235 Ruby really loves my mom (she hasn’t bought the Bark Begone yet) and she’s happy here but she definitely needs more and idk if we can give it to her. But mom won’t rehome her unless something really serious happens most likely.

 

[turnkeyforex]

@georgia56 Can you start taking her for walks and working on desensitization (rewarding her for quiet?)

 

[georgia56]

@turnkeyforex She pulls on walks so I’m going to be working on walking nicely on a leash and finding a place with sidewalk to walk her. My moms tried rewarding her for quiet but I don’t think Ruby understands that it’s quiet we want or maybe barking is just more important to her than treats? I’m looking into other barking training

 

[turnkeyforex]

@georgia56 You might need to start with her further away from her triggers and reward her for noticing and not barking before she gets worked up enough to bark.

 

[georgia56]

@turnkeyforex Well she barks at things she can’t even see and anything she can see out the window doesn’t seem to matter how far but I might be able to do that with guests thank you

 

[danaross67]

@georgia56 Why is that censored?

 

[georgia56]

@danaross67 Because this sub doesn’t allow aversive methods but I needed help