I’m starting to resent my puppy

[debwells54]

I feel bad writing this and worse feeling this way, but I’m at a loss. My almost 5 month old puppy has been increasingly fearful of EVERYTHING the whole time I’ve had her (2 months).

She is noise sensitive, and I live in a big city so going outside for anything is a painful experience. She was cautious on walks, but as long as we went straight to the park on the same route, she was ok. Now, she won’t even do that.

She was particularly skittish about being outside cus of the 4th July and Thunderstorms in my area, which is understandable, so I tried limiting trips outside to potty breaks. But then I noticed that she was refusing to potty outside. Ok, fair enough, I’ll clean up after her inside.

But since she’s house trained, she holds it in until the last possible moment and has a sneaky accident. That can’t be fun, or healthy… so I carried to the bark (a block down the street). A few times a day so she could do her business, and as soon as her paws hit the grass she was eliminating everywhere.

To be clear, she refused to do her business on the sidewalk right outside or near my apartment building, but also refused to walk to the park…

I said to myself “fair enough, I’ll just carry her there and back and walking her back and forth in the basement of my building (which has a long corridor)”. Tried this a couple of times and then she accidentally moved a chair fhat was propping open a chair down there and was frightened to high heaven.

She’s again, been more reluctant to be outside ever since, so I said to myself “Ok, maybe you can toss a toy back and forth in your apartment so she can get exercise. It will take longer cus my apartment is tiny, but she seems to like that game so it’s fine.”

Then a toy bumped into something as a tossed it down the only way that we can play fetch. There was a low, but unexpected thump. Nothing was fell, or was knocked over. She refuses to go to that area of the apartment now…

I’m running out of options for alternative means of exercise. Her noise sensitivity/anxiety/phobia is getting worse. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t care about cleaning up after her, the damage to the furniture, the biting me, or any of the stuff that people generally struggle with when getting. But I was not prepared for this.

I’ve been taking Ubers every time I need to get her anywhere in the city (vets, puppy socials, etc) cus I don’t have a care and there’s no way she’s ready for the subway.

A few days ago I got into it with some asshole cus he actually barked at my dog while I was trying to calm her down after a Harley roared down the street.

On the 4th of July I almost got into an altercation cus on top of the street fireworks, some guys were that don’t live in my building were smoking and blasting music on my stoop. I asked politely and explained the situation, but the got defensive.

“Don’t try and blame your dog being fearful on us cus I’ve seen you have to carry her before!!”

• Bro I’m not blaming anything on you, I’m asking you for a favor…

And I’m so. Damn. Tired. Of people trivializing what I’m seeing get worse on a daily basis cus “sHe’S jUsT a PuPpY.. sHe’Ll bE fInE”.

Ya maybe you’re right. But maybe you’re basing this advise on a 1 minute interaction you had with her which happened to be positive cus she loves meeting people and other dogs. Maybe if you saw her get more and more cautious about more and more things, you’d be as worried as I am.

Maybe if you had to actually deal with this situation like I am you doing be as exhausted (in every sense of the word) as I am.

Maybe you should just let me vent about the ongoing saga of having fearful dog in one of the loudest cities in the world.

I just don’t know wtf to do man…

 

[emily2019]

@debwells54 I know this is flaired as a vent, so dont know if you want advice. My puppy was the same, not afraid of the same things as yours, but massive seperation anxiety, hyper attachment and fear of people he dont know.. we tried everything in the book with expensive trainers etc, but did not see any change before our vet suggested medicine. Hes been on doggy prozac for the last couple of months and the change has been massive! He is so much more calm and not scared when meeting new people. We are still working on him being home alone though. You are not alone, it is sooo exhausting to have a fearful dog!

 

[debwells54]

@emily2019 Dude I’ll take all the help I can get so thank you. I’ve considered meds too, but know I should try training first, and that’s also what the vet told me.

I have some medical experience (not veterinary), and in humans one thing you want to see is how a condition progresses before changing treatment plans. Generally, even slow progress in the right directions means that that treatment plan should continue… but im not seeing progress in the right direction. I’m seeing the opposite.

All this to say that my gut is telling me that she’ll need to be to put on meds at some point. My gut is also telling me that if I let this continue then the fear is going to take root.

I want to take care of this while there is still a possibility of medication being a temporary thing, rather than permanent.

I had a private session with certified trainer and just couldn’t get the responses that they did. I tried it and she regressed. Have 3 more that I purchased…

I filled out a consult form with a Behaviorist Clinic in my area and they tried pairing me with another certified trainer

It’s just like a few weeks ago, my puppy got really bad diarrhea and I knew something was off from day one, but it took four days of me calling the vet for them to finally say I should bring her in

Sure as shit, she needed to be put on antibiotics, and the diarrhea improved almost immediately

 

[kvls]

@debwells54 My now 7mo pup was EXACTLY like this— we still can’t take her out one apartment exit because she gets terrified and will pee before she gets outside. She also froze/trembled/ran to the door when she was scared.

We switched doors that we exited from, that helped her at least get outside. From there we’ve had some good days and some bad, but we always let her take the lead. If she wanted to go inside immediately after peeing then we let her. If she wanted to sniff or walk, we let her lead where she wanted to go. Now she’s a very happy pup outside for one block and then wants to turn around, she is still terrified of going further. So unfortunately we just walk her back and forth on the sidewalk but our vet said as long as she’s under her threshold for the entire walk then it’s good. We’ve also hired a trainer, hopefully we have some good luck with ours.

Good luck! I COMPLETELY understand the frustration, but hang in there. Be patient and calm and open to trying new things and it’ll get better over time.

 

[debwells54]

@kvls Ya there’s only one exit we’re allowed to use in my building (the other one is for emergencies snd an alarm goes off if you open it).

She pretty much does what you’re describing when we go out that door so I carry her to the park so she can get exercise. She loves the park, but won’t walk unless we’re several yards IN the park (it’s a very big park).

Today we had a good walk cus I made a point of following her lead… until she head a construction down the way we had to go to get back. She refused to walk back home at that point so I carried her again.

Could be worse for sure. Praying that it gets better us and for you.

 

[gankerberg]

@debwells54 Yeah, at 5 months old my puppy barks or woffs at nothing that I can see. That’s in addition to things that I can. I can’t figure out what’s triggering him most of the time. This is one of those fear periods that evidently last until he’s an adult as far as I can tell. I use plenty of treats to teach quite and a soothing voice. Just remember “he’s scared” and he’ll get over it with patience and treats. That’s what I keep telling myself but man, it’s rough at night when you’re trying to sleep.