How do I stop feeling guilty about leaving my dog alone?

[trisagion3]

I have a 3.5 year old corgi who I’ve had since 8 weeks. He’s my first dog of my own (got him when I was about 23). He’s got a great temperament but has always had bad separation anxiety to the point where he used to start crying immediately after I walked out of the house. If he was alone, he was miserable. He was never destructive, but he made himself sick from stress to the point of needing to go to the vet on two occasions. I used to have the benefit of being able to drop him off at my parents’ for the day when I went to work, but I’m now in graduate school in a different state and don’t have that luxury.

With stay-at-home orders I spend most of the day with him, but when I go for runs or need to leave (1-2 hours at a time), he’s by himself with the radio on. He no longer cries, but it’s clear he’s not fully comfortable with it either. I live in a 400sq/ft studio, so though he sleeps in his crate, I give him free reign of the tiny apartment while I’m gone.

We go for a few walks a day, and always one of at least 2 miles (most days it ends up being 3-4), so he definitely gets enough exercise.

Am I being overly cautious? I’m simultaneously worried about him and worried that I’m being delusional and overprotective about the whole thing. Feel free to tell me that I’m being a baby about it—it’ll make me feel better.

 

[confuzed001]

@trisagion3 You need to get someone to help you professional, it'll make both you and him much happier and more comfortable. My dog suffered with separation anxiety as well, and he now deals with it by sleeping while I'm gone.

 

[trisagion3]

@confuzed001 I wish I could! Unfortunately, as a graduate student I don’t have much disposable income and that’s not a luxury I can afford. Hoping to get some good ideas here instead.

 

[cantorseraphim]

@trisagion3 Have you tried leaving him in his crate when you're out? If that's where he sleeps, it should be a comfortable place for him, and be easier to not notice you're gone. Maybe put a blanket over it when he's in there going forward even at night to get him used to that.

 

[boss121]

@trisagion3 You can teach him to be okay with separation. It just takes time. Put him in a room with toys and treats/distractions. Then shut the door for 10s,20s, 30s, etc increasing the time gradually so that he learns you are always going to come back.

 

[trisagion3]

@boss121 This is a good idea. He follows me around constantly when I’m home. Need to work on him having his own things to do a bit more

 

[makaylaglynn]

@trisagion3 This is what I call "velcro doggin'"
Been working on my rescue dog with this. He has destroyed things and gets really bad anxiety when I leave. Don't let him follow you around. Definitely need to get him comfortable with being alone. I started with crate training. Making it a good place to be, then I got him a new toy with peanut butter he can have when he is alone and in his crate with it locked
Only gets the toy when he is alone.
And I'll walk around the apartment. Give him no attention even when he is whining.
Gradually increase the time.

Eventually he will be desensitized to being in crate separate from you.
Then you can start leaving, increasing the time increments

 

[trisagion3]

@makaylaglynn This is really helpful. I like the idea of giving him a good long-lasting treat that he only gets while in the crate. He doesn't mind his crate and happily sleeps in it at night, but I never really put him in it during the day. I think that needs to be my starting point.

 

[boss121]

@trisagion3 Have you taught wait? Having him learn to lie down in a bed would be a great first step. Lots of vids on YT for that.

 

[urlawyer]

@trisagion3 My dog did this until I tried some calming cbd treats. It’s not perfect but it’s helped a great bit. My dog is almost 5 and I’ve had her since 6 weeks so I understand your pain. Your dog also sounds like he has much more anxiety than mine so maybe you could consider doggy daycare or a sitter if possible? I’ve used these options in the past.

Edit: oh wow a downvote for suggesting calming treats? My own vet suggested this but I guess reddit knows better :/

 

[trisagion3]

@urlawyer I’ve been curious about these. Definitely worth looking into—I appreciate the tip!

 

[yanawak]

@trisagion3 Maybe you can get him some company...you can get a smaller dog because of the living situation, I think that will get him some comfort

 

[trisagion3]

@yanawak Eventually I would love to go this route, but finding housing with even one little dog is near-impossible while renting

 

[tamsyn]

@trisagion3 We have a corgi too and I’ve realized that while long walks are great, they can’t compare to a game of fetch! My girl loves the short sprints, and they actually seem to tire her out more.
Do you have access to a big park or yard where you could play fetch?
No clue if this will change anything about the anxiety though!

 

[trisagion3]

@tamsyn Yes, my guy LOVES his frisbee. Goes nuts for it and can play for forever. I try to do this once a day in addition to the walks. Exercise is definitely not the issue with him--he's just super attached. Not that that's always a bad thing! I love how affectionate he is, it just gets in the way of life occassionally.

 

[tamsyn]

@trisagion3 I understand! My girl is similar. I love the fact that she wants to be next to me all the time, but it gets old when I have to work and she’s barking at me to throw her toy haha

 

[yoda217]

@trisagion3 Crate training is the first step to mend issues like this. The second is to practice having the dog learn to have independence when you are home. Example: you’re on the couch, direct him to his own bed to sit near you but not on you.
Dogs need structure as much as they need love, if not more