I desperately need advice on this situation instead of the harsh comments and downvotes I received previously. I made a post a little while back ( https://www.reddit.com/r/reactivedogs/s/FL8aX4bsS9 ) and at the time I wanted to remain as neutral as possible because I was trying to spare the feelings of my partner. I was trying to only put relevant facts and information instead of emotions, but I think that made it seem like I was ok with some of the stuff going on or that I didn't care. But I'm at my breaking point and desperately need advice. I've worked with many rescues and reactive dogs but this is getting way past what I know how to handle.
H was adopted from a shelter so we don't know his past. We don't know if he was abused in any way or if anyone used harsh training methods or anything like that, since people were asking previously. As an only dog he seemed very well adjusted and got along great with her cat. He's still great, as long as he's not around B.
I mentioned the dog park in my last post but the only reason we even took H to the dog park was because my partner said she took H to her local dog park daily before she moved in here. We thought having a neutral place for B and H to interact after their first minor scuffle (we didn't know who started it and it was only a few seconds) would be a good idea since we thought B may have been being territorial and H may have been anxious being in a new place. Once we got there things went perfectly... until H attacked another dog who was coming in. I was then informed that everyone at her previous local park knew the drill about waiting for H to be contained before letting their dogs into the park.
I had absolutely NO idea he had a prior history of barrier aggression or any aggression or reactivity at all. Needless to say we left and he's NOT going back to any dog parks despite how good he was otherwise. The barrier aggression thing is terrifying and could only take a split second for something tragic to happen. So for anyone worried about that, it's absolutely not happening any more.
As for the situation here at home, we are (and have been since before I made the previous post) keeping them in separate rooms because that's an obvious solution for now. We have gotten H a muzzle for times he has to leave his room, training is going wonderfully with getting it put on and keeping it on. The partner had been hesitant to muzzle him previously because she worries it would be uncomfortable and sad for him, but we are so worried for B's safety that she agreed even if it upsets her, and being muzzle trained is good for all dogs anyway in case of emergencies.
Buuut now we have a new problem. After so many attacks, B now gets triggered by just seeing or hearing H, and he barks and lunges at the baby gate to try to get to him while we're bringing him through the house to take him outside to go potty. This is so unlike him. We thought the gate would be a good enough barrier along with H on a leash and with his muzzle, but B broke down the gate and H started a fight and pinned him despite being muzzled, and B fought back so now we're having to muzzle B and have him leashed too.
This is getting ridiculous. Everything is completely peaceful until either are reminded that the other exists, then all hell breaks loose.
We are trying to work with H but nothing seems to be helping, it's only getting worse. Is there anything at all we can do to help him in this situation besides what we're already doing?
The partner is saying we need to train B out of growling or making other noises that trigger H but I refuse since that's his way of communicating with us. She also says B needs some kind of training to not get riled up or fight, but that also seems unreasonable since he's only doing it in self defense. I get that he's also doing that in response to a trigger now, but I'm not sure what to do about that besides taking him to a different room and offering distractions when H has to go through the house. Maybe I'm biased though since B is my dog and he's on the receiving end of all of this. Is there any training that B needs in this situation?
As much as I love H, I personally think he isn't a good fit in our home and sadly I don't see this situation improving. But she says he is smart and trainable, we just need to find something that will work. I want to be sure we've exhausted all measures before we give up on him. So, can you guys think of anything we haven't tried? Any training for H or B that might help?
Please keep comments kind and don't make assumptions or downvote just because you don't like how I'm handling this or whatever the case may be. I'm happy to hear feedback as long as it's kept civil. If you have questions I'll do my best to answer them. We are already stressed beyond belief and we are trying our best. We want B and H to both be safe and happy and live their best lives. That's why we are coming here for help, and I'm really hoping to find a caring and understanding community here. Please remember that we're human too, no one is perfect, we are just trying to do what's best and we are looking for guidance on what that might be.
H was adopted from a shelter so we don't know his past. We don't know if he was abused in any way or if anyone used harsh training methods or anything like that, since people were asking previously. As an only dog he seemed very well adjusted and got along great with her cat. He's still great, as long as he's not around B.
I mentioned the dog park in my last post but the only reason we even took H to the dog park was because my partner said she took H to her local dog park daily before she moved in here. We thought having a neutral place for B and H to interact after their first minor scuffle (we didn't know who started it and it was only a few seconds) would be a good idea since we thought B may have been being territorial and H may have been anxious being in a new place. Once we got there things went perfectly... until H attacked another dog who was coming in. I was then informed that everyone at her previous local park knew the drill about waiting for H to be contained before letting their dogs into the park.
I had absolutely NO idea he had a prior history of barrier aggression or any aggression or reactivity at all. Needless to say we left and he's NOT going back to any dog parks despite how good he was otherwise. The barrier aggression thing is terrifying and could only take a split second for something tragic to happen. So for anyone worried about that, it's absolutely not happening any more. As for the situation here at home, we are (and have been since before I made the previous post) keeping them in separate rooms because that's an obvious solution for now. We have gotten H a muzzle for times he has to leave his room, training is going wonderfully with getting it put on and keeping it on. The partner had been hesitant to muzzle him previously because she worries it would be uncomfortable and sad for him, but we are so worried for B's safety that she agreed even if it upsets her, and being muzzle trained is good for all dogs anyway in case of emergencies.
Buuut now we have a new problem. After so many attacks, B now gets triggered by just seeing or hearing H, and he barks and lunges at the baby gate to try to get to him while we're bringing him through the house to take him outside to go potty. This is so unlike him. We thought the gate would be a good enough barrier along with H on a leash and with his muzzle, but B broke down the gate and H started a fight and pinned him despite being muzzled, and B fought back so now we're having to muzzle B and have him leashed too.
This is getting ridiculous. Everything is completely peaceful until either are reminded that the other exists, then all hell breaks loose.
We are trying to work with H but nothing seems to be helping, it's only getting worse. Is there anything at all we can do to help him in this situation besides what we're already doing?
The partner is saying we need to train B out of growling or making other noises that trigger H but I refuse since that's his way of communicating with us. She also says B needs some kind of training to not get riled up or fight, but that also seems unreasonable since he's only doing it in self defense. I get that he's also doing that in response to a trigger now, but I'm not sure what to do about that besides taking him to a different room and offering distractions when H has to go through the house. Maybe I'm biased though since B is my dog and he's on the receiving end of all of this. Is there any training that B needs in this situation?
As much as I love H, I personally think he isn't a good fit in our home and sadly I don't see this situation improving. But she says he is smart and trainable, we just need to find something that will work. I want to be sure we've exhausted all measures before we give up on him. So, can you guys think of anything we haven't tried? Any training for H or B that might help?
Please keep comments kind and don't make assumptions or downvote just because you don't like how I'm handling this or whatever the case may be. I'm happy to hear feedback as long as it's kept civil. If you have questions I'll do my best to answer them. We are already stressed beyond belief and we are trying our best. We want B and H to both be safe and happy and live their best lives. That's why we are coming here for help, and I'm really hoping to find a caring and understanding community here. Please remember that we're human too, no one is perfect, we are just trying to do what's best and we are looking for guidance on what that might be.