Dog is immediately closer to my S.O. upon bringing him home

[ethanhun1]

I'm not totally sure if this is the best place to post this, but it's not really a training problem, I think.

My boyfriend and I adopted a little terrier mix/mutt yesterday morning. He's been taking really well to his new name, his new home, and generally been very well-behaved. Thing is, he's become considerably more attached to my boyfriend than me. Follows him around everywhere, always wants to cuddle up to him, only wants to play with boyfriend, not me. He used to be a stray so he's already partially trained. He listens to both of our commands, mostly, but he listens better to my boyfriend. And we got him a squeaky toy he ended up liking and gets all excited and fetches it when boyfriend throws it but ignores it when I try to play with him.

I'll admit, I'm really jealous about this but I'm kind of confused about how such an attachment even came about so quickly. My running theory is that for about 2 hours yesterday I was running errands and in that time my boyfriend took dog for a long walk and cuddled up with him on the couch. Maybe that's all it took, some alone time. Also, if our little family were a pack, I get the feeling our little mutt thinks he's above me in ranking. On our evening walk last night he kept pulling on the leash and I noticed that he wants to walk right at pace with my boyfriend (who walks slightly ahead of me since he's tall and I'm short and that's how we are unless he slows down for me) which I guess means he acknowledged boyfriend as pack leader.

I know it's really only been a day and I'm probably getting ahead of myself but I just want someone to explain this to me, I guess.

 

[afrahatun]

@ethanhun1 Was the main caretaker of the puppy before a male? It's not unusual for puppies to attach to the person who is the same gender as the person they were with before.

Also, I highly suggest you browse the sidebar and rethink your analysis of dogs and "pack behavior." There is a lot of valuable information to be learned!

 

[ethanhun1]

@afrahatun I don't know who his last owner was. He was a stray that no one came back to claim, that's how he ended up at the shelter. The shelter didn't even know what his name was. Ill look up more info on pack behavior, though

 

[tholar]

@ethanhun1 I think this is definitely appropriate for dog training. Training is about building relationships between you and you dog to learn how to act around each other. That being said, It is possible the extra time spent with your boyfriend could have made your dog attach faster. Make a point to do something super fun with just you and the dog on a regular basis to solidify your relationship. It might take a little time, and you might have a different relationship with your pup than your boyfriend does. For example: my pup comes to me for snuggles and safety from thunder, but if she wants to wrestle and be rowdy she usually goes to my husband cause he established a fun wrestling game with her that is their special game.

 

[ethanhun1]

@tholar Thanks, I'll definitely work on it. Maybe I'll find something special that's just between me and him, like you did =)

 

[hiatus]

@ethanhun1 Give it time! We had to pick up our dog from the airport in the middle of the night when we adopted him. My partner drove home while I stayed in the back seat with Milo, who was terrified. Then my partner had to go right to bed when we got home and I stayed up a little bit with Milo. It definitely took a day or two for him to warm up to my partner because he hadn't spent much time with him at first, and I think Milo saw me as his saviour. But that went away quickly and now Milo is equally close to both of us! I imagine the same thing will happen in your case.

 

[ethanhun1]

@hiatus Thanks, I really needed to hear that. I love him so much already so it stung a bit, but I'm working on things with him so hopeful his affection evens out with time

 

[eclatunlimited]

@ethanhun1 Almost exactly the same thing happened to me and my boyfriend when we brought our dog home. However, it was me he attached to. It was because our dog was abused by men previously, and I was doing meal times.

It's been 3 months now, and our dog has definitely warmed up to him. I still get most of the snuggling and playing, but he listens to my boyfriend a lot better. We have also had some issues with the dog becoming protective of me. Our theory is that I lack dominance. I'm taking an obedience class with our dog to rectify that. Hopefully it works out.

Point is, things will even out once he's adjusted. I wouldn't worry much yet.

 

[ethanhun1]

@eclatunlimited Things have evened out already =) since my work schedule is less rigorous than my boyfriend's, he's gotten used to being around me and I noticed that he cuddles up to me when he can. He's very subtle about it tho lol

 

[eclatunlimited]

@ethanhun1 Daw! That's great to hear! Especially how fast it turned around. It took us 3 months for things to even out!

 

[djinadou]

@ethanhun1 You'd be amazed at what the first few cuddles with a dog will do. All of our pets love my fiance because she spends a day with them cuddling when we first get them. They still like me but I don't spoil them as much... when walking, our dog will try to walk next to her no matter how has the leash :|