Do I rehome my dog?

[bofaith]

Hey there. This is going to be a long one.

I adopted my dog in November, she was a 7 month old Terrier mix, spayed female. She is the sweetest pup I’ve ever seen, instantly gelled in with my boyfriend and I. We tried to take her with us everywhere in the initial days, but then read about the 3-3-3 rule and started training her with a virtual trainer. She was doing really well, had slight reactivity to other dogs and didn’t like being left alone. We were able to work on crate training her and she is able to calm down by herself for a few hours.

We had to go on a 3 day trip last month, so left her with the daycare that she had been to before. They are very pressure free, but I didn’t realize that she wouldn’t be checked on at all times. Post the stay, she took some time to adjust and had severe diarrhea, bloody stools and dehydration. For 2-3 weeks she was on a bland diet, and had to go the ER for rehydration and IV for a weekend.

Now it’s been about 3 weeks, and we felt things finally settle down, when I saw her puking blood. She’s currently at the vet, but I’m literally numb with fear. There’s a lot of anxiety around her and what she’s doing, and my budget seems to be getting tighter with a lot of other personal issues.

I absolutely don’t want to give up on her, especially when she’s not feeling good. I do worry that I won’t be able to go for maybe a week or two to even meet my family, who live in a different country. It’s been super difficult and lonely post pandemic, and haven’t seen them in years. It’s been a tough situation and I’m not sure if things will get better or how to cope with her reaction, say I do leave her, even for an emergency. I certainly don’t want to have an emergency following an emergency.

Any advice is good advice.

Edit: She tested positive for leptospirosis, even though she was vaccinated for it months ago. A previous test came out negative. It’s been a mess.

 

[randall1022]

@bofaith Hi! I’m so sorry to hear about your sweet pup. It sounds like she’s very loved, and you mentioned both budget concerns and your own mental health concerns re: rehoming.

I think budget and mental health generally go hand-in-hand, so here are a few suggestions you might consider:

• Budget: Ask your vet about payment assistance programs in your area. This applies for medication too.
• Budget/Health: Do you have friends you could ask to care for your dog when you travel in the future? It’s usually cheaper to ask for a “favor” (I always also pay) from a friend that you trust than boarding in a kennel. Plus, I find it reassuring to know that my dog is getting someone’s undivided attention or at least way more attention than if he got thrown into a group for boarding. There are also services like Wag (at least in the US) that allow for in-home pet-sitting, so your dog can be taken care of from the comfort of her home.
• Health: It sounds like you’re really anxious about your dog’s health (understandable) and feeling lonely (also understandable). If possible, it might be worthwhile to take a step away and seek support from your support network of loved ones and/or a professional. Basically, try to get some perspective from people who actually know you and your circumstances to help you think through your realistic options.

Last, I highly recommend you try to avoid thinking about the worst “what if” scenarios. Those scenarios will only drag you deeper into the anxiety you’re already feeling, and I’m guessing you’re not also balancing it out with potential “best case” scenarios.

Take a deep breath, ask yourself why you are considering giving up your dog that you clearly seem to love. If you feel that it is in your/her best interest to proceed, that’s something you need to be sure about. Try to take a step back and ask if your current feelings are an emotional reaction (to panic/fear) or if you’ve come to whatever conclusions after thinking things out and getting some perspective.

I wish you and your dog the best, regardless of your decision!

 

[bofaith]

@randall1022 Hey there! I really appreciate your response. It’s been a wreck, I’ve been a wreck, so I do think taking a step back is helpful. I do have this in mind because nothing that we have done so far seems conclusive. All the diagnostic tests have come clean, but that wouldn’t explain so much inconvenience for the pup. I am tired of hearing the vet talk about how she’s dehydrated and needs rehydration- that’s not the reason I got her to the vet!

It’s frustrating also that every time we take her we end up paying $300-$2000, just to go back the following week or two after. That just doesn’t seem normal to me, I’ve had other dogs in my life before, and they’ve had issues - ear infections, tummy troubles, but I’ve never been in this situation where I don’t know what’s wrong.

I’m obviously going to take some time to think about this, but I’m surely exhausted and reaching burn out. If I get a sign of any sort that things will get better in the near future, I’d 100% keep her right by me.

 

[trimeresurus]

@bofaith Can you take her to a different vet for a second opinion?

 

[randall1022]

@bofaith Happy to be a voice in the Reddit abyss! If you don’t mind sharing a bit more, I’m kind of curious to know the following:

1) Have you been going to the same vet? Or have you gotten a second opinion? You might also want to post in r/AskVet since it sounds like you’ve got a good amount of info already! Hopefully someone replies to you if you choise to post, but it’s also generally just a good resource.

2) DEFINITELY try to look into vet care payment programs. Even just googling might help, but I feel like I often see great resources in sidebars/comments on Reddit. If you’re getting itemized bills, that would be use to shop around your area with other clinics to just ask what they would typically charge for X procedure with Y medications. I did that for my cat’s dentist check up, and it saved me hundreds.

3) It sounds like the issues started soon after getting your dog back from boarding. Is there any chance she got into something while there? If so, I would send them an email (always communicate in writing) explaining what has happened since you got your dog back. I wouldn’t mention how costly it has been to begin with, but I would definitely pursue some reimbursement from the daycare if it turned out my dog was going through all of this because they were negligent in their care or something.

4) Since you said you’ve had other dogs before, I’m going to guess your place is “dog proof” already, but it is always worth double checking that your current pup isn’t somehow getting into something dangerous.

Again, good luck with everything. I hope your dog is able to fully recover and you can both de-stress soon!

 

[bofaith]

@randall1022 Thank you for your advise! I have scheduled a second opinion with a different vet recommended by her shelter. We are also being referred to an internal medicine specialist, since her symptoms are worsening.

Twisty has been insured since day 1, and I hope we get some reimbursement post that. I wonder if talking to Rover will help getting some more resources.

And the pup is always under supervision if not crated. She is really smart and loves sniffing out treats, so I keep an eye on her at all times.

I might post to AskVet, just hoping to get some help at all. I hope this gets better soon, it’s been a rough couple of weeks and it’s scary when the vet says that she’s been sick for too long.

 

[albertacamus]

@bofaith this is such a difficult situation, i'm really sorry you're going through this. my honest advice would be to consider what's best for her. if she really isn't safe to be left alone or at a boarding kennel and you have to go out of town/out of the country frequently, it might be time to consider other options. do you or your partner have family or friends that would be willing to meet her, let her acclimate to them and keep her when you're gone? it would probably help a lot if someone she was comfortable with was taking care of her instead of a kennel (that can be a really stressful environment unfortunately). if there's no one that fits that description, it might be the best thing for her to look for a new home. i've had to rehome a cat for a somewhat similar situation, and it was one of the hardest things i've ever done. but i know that he's in a home that can take care of him and his individual needs better than i'm able to, and he will live a more comfortable and happy life there. i'm totally at peace with it for that reason. it's a tough choice but you know your pup better than anyone; if you think this is something that could improve over time, keep working with her! but if you do decide to rehome her, know that you didn't do anything wrong or give up on her, you just made the best choice you could for her and her wellbeing. i wish you both the very best.

 

[bofaith]

@albertacamus This is my exact thought. I do have friends and a partner who can take care, but a month or even two weeks can seem pretty difficult to keep a constant eye on her. Also, knowing how sensitive her stomach can be, if there’s an emergency, they’re/I’m not going to be comfortable making decisions while I’m away. It’s more difficult because of her anxiety and a lot of people aren’t really that patient.

I’m willing to try out the home sitter, but I’m going to have to trust them - for personal sake and for the pup’s wellbeing. I already feel let down by the boarding on Rover (I reviewed all the profiles with her trainer and found one with thousands of 5 star reviews and professional experience), and I just seeing how things have been going, I don’t want to risk her safety.

I’m really sorry you had to through this too. I’ve been a wreck all day and just don’t understand what’s right or what’s wrong. Thanks for your advice, I do feel a little less alone.

 

[philosopher8659]

@bofaith Imo if you can’t afford her treatment which seems to be extensive and frequent given that you’ve only had her since Nov, and your concern is around seeing your family and not caring for the pup, then yes you should rehome her with a person who can afford vet bills and who will prioritize her health and wellness.

 

[lilliana]

@bofaith Have you talked with the vet about what all might be causing the several week long issues? Even for severe separation anxiety cases, that seems extreme to be affecting her several weeks later if that was the culprit. (Not saying it can't be though, stress can definitely cause problems) But if there's something else that might be causing it that could be addressed and you know how to manage it moving forward, that could help as well.

If the separation is the major concern, there are other routes to go, like finding a house sitter, or an in house boarding situation where they're probably going to be left alone less.

There also might be resources through your local shelters to find low cost vet care and different funds that can help with different vet costs as well if that's your major concern.

Outside of those options, it's also not the worst to re-home a dog if you don't feel like you can provide for them fully. Not all dogs are fit for every home and situation, and if you feel like it's not a good fit, you might be able to help her find a home that could be a good fit.

 

[bofaith]

@lilliana I’m actually talking to the vet right now to discuss any further diagnosis - maybe some form of inflammation in the gut or clotting issues. So far all her tests have been inconclusive and it’s wrenching me that there’s no source of truth.

The separation anxiety is something that I can deal with, but the fact that she’s super delicate makes it difficult and sets us back every time. She has been anxious in the car, and I know taking her to fun places will help her. But if I take her to the vet every week, that just puts us back again.

She now has a sensitive stomach, probably in the long term. This means no commercial treats. This also means no grooming or +ve reinforcement outside of cooked chicken etc.

And all of this really sets me back financially. I do not regret spending any amount on her, but to know that it has been futile and is probably going to increase in the near future makes me question my choices and assumptions.

I’m just not sure if this is a short term thing or a something to worry about long term, being a first time dog owner

 

[aperson123]

@bofaith I am very sorry to hear that you are going through this with your beloved baby. What I’m going to say is just me telling you what I’d do in this situation. I have no professional or authoritative position. I would consider care credit or scratch pay if you haven’t. A small loan that you only use for vet bills. Possibly a vet clinic that could offer help at lower costs. Another vet that could be lower cost. Check in your area or city, state for rescue groups or spay and neuter groups. While they generally have funds to help rescue dogs or get them spay or neutered they will sometimes help someone who is need and can’t afford to help their dog. Maybe a gofund me but I wouldn’t leave it up to just that. Look into pet insurance since it seems like you have a bit of a road still to travel before your baby is all better. Please research pet insurances though , there are many that are complete scams and only take money and offer nothing when it is needed, others are only partial reimbursement programs. There’s other variants of this but it’s something you might look into.