Hi everyone, the title is the main question but I would love some advice and general input on how others might handle my situation.
Sorry its a bit of an essay (summary at the bottom). As this is obviously such a divisive issue, I am fully expecting to get some negativity here.
Quick history:
Because of all of this, he is trained to ignore other dogs. It’s not completely perfect and sometimes we still need to work on the “watch me” command, particularly when there is an out of control dog or another dog fixating on him. As a herder, he has a very strong eye, which does have the potential to set another dog off, however he will voluntarily walk on my other side without a command whenever we see people or another dog, to create space for himself.
When interactions are forced, he will tolerate them. In fact, when forced to meet an off leash dog the best thing I can do these days for him is drop the leash so he can do a proper greeting. The reaction will most likely be fine and if I can see he is nervous at all I can call him away and he will come. However, I find myself getting irritated by these encounters almost out of principle (because I know how badly they would have gone in the past) and because all the power is taken away from me and my training in those situations. I worry that if this continues I am going to see regression in his behaviour (because I am no longer upholding his boundaries). That said, a part of me thinks that we’ve made so much progress that fear is no longer the main driver in his behaviour and now I am being the biggest barrier to the next step forward. The step which is just letting go.
The problem is I have just moved to a small town where everyone seems to think their dogs need to say hi to every dog and a lot of rude/impolite dog behaviour is clearly normalized. Dogs are regularly left to roam off leash onto other people’s properties etc and people will let their dog drag them towards me on leash even after seeing that I put my dog on the other side. I am 100% against this behaviour and not letting your dog run up to other dogs is a hill I will die on, but this isn’t what my post is about. The sad reality is, I’m never going to be able to educate the entire town on dog behaviour, I can either get myself frustrated, confrontational and a bad reputation in this small town, or figure out the best way to adapt.
I have already asked a couple of people to put their off leash dogs on leash (on the on leash pathway) and I’ve felt bad every time I’ve done it. People think that I am rude and unfriendly when in fact I am just trying to advocate for my dog. There seem to be a few people who understand this and still smile and say hi, but some people give me strange looks and others seem to take it personally, saying things like “my dog just wants to say hi” or “my dog just wants to play”. I even thought about posting something on the local facebook group but again, don’t want to attach my name to something which will obviously be so divisive. Some people just aren’t able to consider a problem they don’t experience themselves (cough *entitled*).
What I struggle with is where to strike the balance between advocating for my dog and coming across as a dick. I’ve shouted at people over their off leash dogs in the past but I have a better handle on my emotions these days and will just forcefully tell people to leash their dog (I don’t even care if its on leash or not just under control), though I have a fear that this will earn me an unpopular reputation in a small town. I’m just glad I didn’t move here when he was younger, or we would have had no chance!
Before anyone says that I need to socialize my dog, he has had many friends over the years however, they have all been dogs which have been respectful of his boundaries are able to control their own energy, who’s owners who I trust to step in if things get out of hand. There are very few dogs that my dog will actually like to play with. When I first adopted him I had dreams of going to the dog park and making friends with other dog owners. Unfortunately I had to make some sacrifices and check my expectations. I wouldn’t change a thing though. I love my boy to the end of the earth and back, we have a solid bond and rehabilitating him has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
TL;DR
Rehabilitated a reactive rescue dog. To the outside observer, it looks like I have a relatively normal, well trained dog however, I know his past and I find it hard to let go. He will tolerate other dogs which is all I could ask for, though I am still quite protective as I never want things to regress.
Recently moved to a small town, where everyone knows each other but dogs are generally poorly trained and ill-mannered. Do I keep enforcing my dogs boundaries and risk being confrontational and unpopular or ‘let go’, relax my dogs training and trust that things will be ok?
Sorry its a bit of an essay (summary at the bottom). As this is obviously such a divisive issue, I am fully expecting to get some negativity here.
Quick history:
- I adopted a rescue dog age 25.
- The dog turned out to be fearful and severely reactive, basically unable to be walked in public. I gave up my social life, spent all my money on dog training and moved into the basement suite of a trainer to rehabilitate this dog.
- We trained him to run on a treadmill 3 x a day for exercise, combined with strict house rules and lots of training sessions. We gradually transitioned to outdoor walks as he became desensitized and better adjusted.
- To help manage his ridiculously strong herding instinct (border collie x huntaway) we got into stock dog training, competing in sheep herding trials and winning an award.
- I took the Karen Pryor Positive Reinforcement Foundations Course to help learn all the skills I needed.
Because of all of this, he is trained to ignore other dogs. It’s not completely perfect and sometimes we still need to work on the “watch me” command, particularly when there is an out of control dog or another dog fixating on him. As a herder, he has a very strong eye, which does have the potential to set another dog off, however he will voluntarily walk on my other side without a command whenever we see people or another dog, to create space for himself.
When interactions are forced, he will tolerate them. In fact, when forced to meet an off leash dog the best thing I can do these days for him is drop the leash so he can do a proper greeting. The reaction will most likely be fine and if I can see he is nervous at all I can call him away and he will come. However, I find myself getting irritated by these encounters almost out of principle (because I know how badly they would have gone in the past) and because all the power is taken away from me and my training in those situations. I worry that if this continues I am going to see regression in his behaviour (because I am no longer upholding his boundaries). That said, a part of me thinks that we’ve made so much progress that fear is no longer the main driver in his behaviour and now I am being the biggest barrier to the next step forward. The step which is just letting go.
The problem is I have just moved to a small town where everyone seems to think their dogs need to say hi to every dog and a lot of rude/impolite dog behaviour is clearly normalized. Dogs are regularly left to roam off leash onto other people’s properties etc and people will let their dog drag them towards me on leash even after seeing that I put my dog on the other side. I am 100% against this behaviour and not letting your dog run up to other dogs is a hill I will die on, but this isn’t what my post is about. The sad reality is, I’m never going to be able to educate the entire town on dog behaviour, I can either get myself frustrated, confrontational and a bad reputation in this small town, or figure out the best way to adapt.
I have already asked a couple of people to put their off leash dogs on leash (on the on leash pathway) and I’ve felt bad every time I’ve done it. People think that I am rude and unfriendly when in fact I am just trying to advocate for my dog. There seem to be a few people who understand this and still smile and say hi, but some people give me strange looks and others seem to take it personally, saying things like “my dog just wants to say hi” or “my dog just wants to play”. I even thought about posting something on the local facebook group but again, don’t want to attach my name to something which will obviously be so divisive. Some people just aren’t able to consider a problem they don’t experience themselves (cough *entitled*).
What I struggle with is where to strike the balance between advocating for my dog and coming across as a dick. I’ve shouted at people over their off leash dogs in the past but I have a better handle on my emotions these days and will just forcefully tell people to leash their dog (I don’t even care if its on leash or not just under control), though I have a fear that this will earn me an unpopular reputation in a small town. I’m just glad I didn’t move here when he was younger, or we would have had no chance!
Before anyone says that I need to socialize my dog, he has had many friends over the years however, they have all been dogs which have been respectful of his boundaries are able to control their own energy, who’s owners who I trust to step in if things get out of hand. There are very few dogs that my dog will actually like to play with. When I first adopted him I had dreams of going to the dog park and making friends with other dog owners. Unfortunately I had to make some sacrifices and check my expectations. I wouldn’t change a thing though. I love my boy to the end of the earth and back, we have a solid bond and rehabilitating him has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
TL;DR
Rehabilitated a reactive rescue dog. To the outside observer, it looks like I have a relatively normal, well trained dog however, I know his past and I find it hard to let go. He will tolerate other dogs which is all I could ask for, though I am still quite protective as I never want things to regress.
Recently moved to a small town, where everyone knows each other but dogs are generally poorly trained and ill-mannered. Do I keep enforcing my dogs boundaries and risk being confrontational and unpopular or ‘let go’, relax my dogs training and trust that things will be ok?