(Cross post) need help with dog reverting on training

jesusismyvirtue

New member
At my wits end with my dog r/DogTraining
I posted here but there seems to be a long queue for the mod

I’ve had my dog since she was weaned. She was not supposed to be mine; she was my
Moms dog. But mom went travel nursing so I took care of her.
I love her, but she is driving me crazy flip flopping on our training. When I got her, I knew she was a mutt. Her mom was not small, so there was a big chance she would end up pretty big. I decided to be very diligent on her training. I watched videos, read articles, sought advice. So far, she -understands- commands like sit, wait, heel (no pulling), hush, crate, lay down, come. But she has a real behavioral issue. We will be doing well on our training. Consistently doing what she’s told, positive reinforcement with treats, exercise. And then she will back track on me. For example, just last night she pooped on a rug. She had 3 potty breaks; I asked her a few times if she needed to “go poopoo” that’s her signal for poop. She would sit and signal she was done. This morning I got up and was about to leave for work, and saw it there. It was not fresh, so she had to have done it in the middle of the night. I was livid.
And it’s not just potty behavior, sometimes she will refuse to listen at home. She definitely won’t listen somewhere else. She thinks if she crawls into someone’s lap, she does not have to listen to directions I give.
She had a to stay in her cage while I’m away or she will destroy my home. I tried the “ leave for a minute and come back then increase the time intervals training”. As I mentioned before, she will show promising signs and great progress and as soon as I’m confident she reverts and we’re back to square one. Especially if we have guests; all training goes out the window. I have let my guests and friends know that if I give her a command they are NOT allowed to pet her. She’s spoiled rotten and thinks everyone is there to see and pet her. I get so frustrated but it’s hard to reprimand without people giving you side eye like you’re being mean to your dog.. they’ll say “oh she’s fine I have dogs at home!” Well that may be okay in your home but not mine! And I think people don’t understand that and the dog takes full advantage of the situation.
In that case, sometimes I think she’s smarter than she lets on. She will guiltily run into her cage if she knew she did something bad, before I have even discovered what it was. But there’ no way she’s consciously disobeying knowing she will be punished…. Right?
I’m at my wits end; I talked with a. Few people with larger dogs like her or bigger. Everyone is saying shock collar or prong collar. But how do those help with the poop situation? She’s been stressing me out so much; I feel guilty making her stay in her cage all day, but if I don’t I’ll come home to my house dotted with piles of crap or my couch torn to shreds. I can’t take much more of this nonsense before I have to consider giving her to a shelter. I’m feeling as though it’s me as a pet parent and someone else could easily get her under control.
 
@billyd233 Sorry, she is 3, will be 4 in a few months.
And yes they are the issue when we have guests. But she is the same around strangers too. I wanted her to be social and friendly, because I worried about having a large aggressive dog. But she likes to ignore me around ANYONE, not just friends
 
@jesusismyvirtue Because your friends refused to respect house rules, and you didn't seem to enforce any.

When she acts inappropriately, she goes into another room behind a closed door to calm down. No matter what your house guests say. Make them respect you, or make them leave.
 
@billyd233 Where are you getting these ideas from? I said none of that. If you’re making unfair judgements against me because I’m considering rehoming her, then please keep your advice to yourself.
 
@jesusismyvirtue
She thinks if she crawls into someone’s lap, she does not have to listen to directions I give

it’s hard to reprimand without people giving you side eye like you’re being mean to your dog..

One of these things causes the other thing. If you consistently reinforced your house rules even in the presence of guests, the effect would not be a spoiled rotten dog who has been conditioned to believe that she doesn't have to listen to you when other people are around.
 
@billyd233 If you needed more details you could have asked; I have asked people to leave many times for not honoring the rules I’ve set for my dog.
She’s spoiled and thinks she’s a lap dog. If you missed the part where I mentioned we have trained extensively then kindly go back and reread. I didn’t ask for a passive aggressive response assuming I’m not doing my part as a pet parent. That’s literally why I’m here; I want to do right by her. Again, if you don’t have any constructive criticism, I’d appreciate you left me alone. Thank you.
 
@jesusismyvirtue Training extensively without house guests doesn't mean anything if you're not using that same training with them there.

I am telling you that to do right by your dog, you need to stop worrying about how your friends feel when you correct her.
 
@billyd233 I also mentioned I took a lot of time socializing her. That includes working with her when we have guests. The main problem is us making progress and then after 3 or 4 weeks, she goes back to naughty behavior.
I have gone every avenue of training available that isn’t too expensive. I’ve got chronic health issues. My doggy is my registered emotional support animal. My therapist and I agreed that having a dog and training and having a routine was good for me, but she ALSO said with my high anxiety if the dog is stressing me out more than she benefits, then it’s okay to consider what would make both of us happy. And yeah, I do care what people think. I have anxiety and PTSD. You yourself are making assumptions about us right now.

I personally don’t want to give her up; it’s a last resort. But I’m a firm believer that if you can’t take proper care of an animal then you shouldn’t have it.
Sending her to training school or hiring a trainer is expensive and you’re kinda stressing me out man. If you’ve got some ideas, I’m happy to listen but right now I’m feeling judged.
 
@jesusismyvirtue I wasn't judging you, and I wasn't making assumptions. I was reading the words that you wrote and understanding what they mean.

And here is what I've understood from your words:

Your anxiety is causing you to prioritize the opinions of others over your dog's best interest.

There is not a single opinion out there that matters more than your dog's well-being.

If you aren't interested in this advice, save us both the time and don't bother replying. But nobody is going to have the magic bandaid you're looking for.
 
@billyd233 I’m not understanding how you keep coming back to the idea that I value others opinions over my dog.
I made one statement about my friends enabling bad behavior, and you’re clinging to that. Everything else about training, positive reinforcement, removing people from my home, etc has completely gone over your head. That’s why I’m thinking you’re being judge mental. Why latch on that one thing when I’m asking for help?
 
@ftesseneer You think it might be a behavioral issue that can be fixed? I want to do training classes, but they cost a minimum of $1000 where I live. Steep investment and I wouldn’t want to waste it when it could be something that needs medication? Thanks for the input.
 

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