notworthconsideration
New member
Information:
Delilah is a 7 yo JRT x Rat Terrier who was found as a stray in TN almost 7 years ago. I’ve had her since July 2015. She struggles with reactivity/anxiety/aggression towards people and dogs, had a high prey drive, goes from 0-100 quickly, and has compulsive disorder where she fixates on environmental triggers.
I’ve been dating my bf Tristan for 2 years. He has lived with us for 1 year. He and Delilah have had trouble adjusting to each other and have gotten better but she still barks at him when he enters the house.
I’ve done a lot of training over the years with Delilah with minimal progress. I had wanted a high energy dog to hike with and do sports like agility. We actually took a few months of agility classes when I first got her but had to stop due to health and behavior.
The first private behavior mod. trainer I worked with suggested outdoor private agility lessons since she would get overwhelmed with the indoor class setting.
Currently:
We have been working with a local trainer and taking an online course about Training Between the Ears, which is a program that focuses on teaching relaxation instead of obedience. Some exercises it includes are capturing/free shaping calm behavior, behavioral downs which is a bit like doggy meditation, and a massage technique called conditioned relaxation.
I also won a consultation with Matt Beisner, who has been working with Kim Brophey and using her L.E.G.S. Model which seems more about meeting a dog’s needs than modifying behavior through operant conditioning. This is what I’ve been leaning towards anyways since Delilah has gotten older and years of training haven’t changed her behavior too much. We are going to continue with his training.
We are also currently working with a veterinary behaviorist for medication for the compulsive disorder and that seems to help too.
So most of the training we’re doing focuses on helping Delilah feel calm and happy. Almost trying to rewire her brain to become less aroused.
The problem:
I saw a new trainer advertising outdoor agility lessons in her yard. I told her a class is too overwhelming for Delilah but I’m interested in private lessons. I told her about the training we’re doing, Delilah’s health issues, and her behavior issues and told her that I want to go really slow at Delilah’s pace and just do it for fun. I told her I also want Tristan to participate and work on his relationship with Delilah.
We all arrive at training and the training itself was fine- Delilah seemed to have fun, Tristan was very engaged with the training (first time he’s been excited about something dog related!), and Delilah was really focused on him.
We worked on engagement the whole time and threw balls for her and then gave her treats for sitting and lying down on cue in between the throws.
The problem is the trainer kept talking about respect and saying Delilah didn’t respect us. When Delilah first got to the yard she was excited and trying to pull and sniff things and the trainer said it’s because she didn’t respect us. I think she was excited and anxious and trying to process the new environment. The trainer said that when Delilah tried to look at me or bring the ball to me it’s because she didn’t respect Tristan. He is buying this and thinks she doesn’t respect him. The trainer said she needs to play and interact with us on our terms and not hers. I think that sounds like dominance theory even though the techniques we used were all positive reinforcement with treats and play.
We were playing that engagement game with the balls at our house and she wasn’t really into it and she kept looking at me. She looks at me when she needs something or is uncomfortable. I interpreted it as her not wanting to play the game but Tristan said “Look, she only wants to play with you and not with me.” I told him I didn’t think she wanted to play anymore at all and he said it’s our job to make her want to play and it’s on our terms. We got into an argument.
The pros of this training are:
1) Delilah is having fun
2) Tristan is really excited about dogs and training for once! I want him to want to participate with me and Delilah.
3) Talking about meeting her needs with Matt- I think a game like agility (or nose work, but no one teaches that in my area), could help meet her needs for enrichment and exercise.
4) The techniques are fun and positive.
The cons are:
1) The narrative about respect could create conflict in our relationships- Tristan and Delilah, and me and Tristan.
2) I’m worried with all of the relaxation training we’ve been doing, playing high arousal games like with balls and agility could undo that work.
3) She was more reactive to sounds after the lesson and was barking all night. (Maybe a calming activity after agility like a chew or some scent games?)
4) It almost felt like the trainer was blaming me for Delilah’s issues when she talked about her not being respectful and needing structure. Discrediting all of the time, effort, and money I’ve put into her training and health care. I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive though, I don’t want it to look like I’m jealous of how well Tristan was working with Delilah.
Should I sign up for another lesson and see if the benefits outweigh my worries? Definitely going to talk to Matt and the vet behaviorist about it too. But what would you do?
Delilah is a 7 yo JRT x Rat Terrier who was found as a stray in TN almost 7 years ago. I’ve had her since July 2015. She struggles with reactivity/anxiety/aggression towards people and dogs, had a high prey drive, goes from 0-100 quickly, and has compulsive disorder where she fixates on environmental triggers.
I’ve been dating my bf Tristan for 2 years. He has lived with us for 1 year. He and Delilah have had trouble adjusting to each other and have gotten better but she still barks at him when he enters the house.
I’ve done a lot of training over the years with Delilah with minimal progress. I had wanted a high energy dog to hike with and do sports like agility. We actually took a few months of agility classes when I first got her but had to stop due to health and behavior.
The first private behavior mod. trainer I worked with suggested outdoor private agility lessons since she would get overwhelmed with the indoor class setting.
Currently:
We have been working with a local trainer and taking an online course about Training Between the Ears, which is a program that focuses on teaching relaxation instead of obedience. Some exercises it includes are capturing/free shaping calm behavior, behavioral downs which is a bit like doggy meditation, and a massage technique called conditioned relaxation.
I also won a consultation with Matt Beisner, who has been working with Kim Brophey and using her L.E.G.S. Model which seems more about meeting a dog’s needs than modifying behavior through operant conditioning. This is what I’ve been leaning towards anyways since Delilah has gotten older and years of training haven’t changed her behavior too much. We are going to continue with his training.
We are also currently working with a veterinary behaviorist for medication for the compulsive disorder and that seems to help too.
So most of the training we’re doing focuses on helping Delilah feel calm and happy. Almost trying to rewire her brain to become less aroused.
The problem:
I saw a new trainer advertising outdoor agility lessons in her yard. I told her a class is too overwhelming for Delilah but I’m interested in private lessons. I told her about the training we’re doing, Delilah’s health issues, and her behavior issues and told her that I want to go really slow at Delilah’s pace and just do it for fun. I told her I also want Tristan to participate and work on his relationship with Delilah.
We all arrive at training and the training itself was fine- Delilah seemed to have fun, Tristan was very engaged with the training (first time he’s been excited about something dog related!), and Delilah was really focused on him.
We worked on engagement the whole time and threw balls for her and then gave her treats for sitting and lying down on cue in between the throws.
The problem is the trainer kept talking about respect and saying Delilah didn’t respect us. When Delilah first got to the yard she was excited and trying to pull and sniff things and the trainer said it’s because she didn’t respect us. I think she was excited and anxious and trying to process the new environment. The trainer said that when Delilah tried to look at me or bring the ball to me it’s because she didn’t respect Tristan. He is buying this and thinks she doesn’t respect him. The trainer said she needs to play and interact with us on our terms and not hers. I think that sounds like dominance theory even though the techniques we used were all positive reinforcement with treats and play.
We were playing that engagement game with the balls at our house and she wasn’t really into it and she kept looking at me. She looks at me when she needs something or is uncomfortable. I interpreted it as her not wanting to play the game but Tristan said “Look, she only wants to play with you and not with me.” I told him I didn’t think she wanted to play anymore at all and he said it’s our job to make her want to play and it’s on our terms. We got into an argument.
The pros of this training are:
1) Delilah is having fun
2) Tristan is really excited about dogs and training for once! I want him to want to participate with me and Delilah.
3) Talking about meeting her needs with Matt- I think a game like agility (or nose work, but no one teaches that in my area), could help meet her needs for enrichment and exercise.
4) The techniques are fun and positive.
The cons are:
1) The narrative about respect could create conflict in our relationships- Tristan and Delilah, and me and Tristan.
2) I’m worried with all of the relaxation training we’ve been doing, playing high arousal games like with balls and agility could undo that work.
3) She was more reactive to sounds after the lesson and was barking all night. (Maybe a calming activity after agility like a chew or some scent games?)
4) It almost felt like the trainer was blaming me for Delilah’s issues when she talked about her not being respectful and needing structure. Discrediting all of the time, effort, and money I’ve put into her training and health care. I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive though, I don’t want it to look like I’m jealous of how well Tristan was working with Delilah.
Should I sign up for another lesson and see if the benefits outweigh my worries? Definitely going to talk to Matt and the vet behaviorist about it too. But what would you do?
