any advice at all or consolation will help. please

[blapakona77]

i did so much research and prepared myself months in advance for how stressful it would be. and still. this is just wow

she’s a 12 week old toy poodle i just got her yesterday. she’s a delight to have and is trained to use a pee pad. she is already responding to her name quite well and does well with luring. those things are good. i got home with her about 8pm, played with her for a bit and my family did too, while giving some treats. she pooped and peed in this time (from 8-9:15) and i fed her last meal in the crate at 10:30. she did not poo or pee after that. i let her roam around a bit and more cuddles and play until 11:20 ish when i tried to get her to sleep. this is where the nightmare began

just crying and crying and crying when in the crate. this went on about 10-15 minutes so i brought my playpen in the room and put her bed and snuggle heartbeat toy right next to me where she could see me. crying and screaching non stop. unless i lay next to her and put my hand in. i’m panicking a bit cause she has not slept for several hours at this point. since he kept crying in the pen i closed off an area of my room right next to my bed so she could still see me while i was on my bed. no bueno. crying unless i was giving her direct attention. i spoke to the breeder and she told me to put her in crate on my bed for the first couple of nights. i didn’t want to do this but desperately i tried. still crying when next to me on the bed. so, i put her back down, put her pee pad in the crate and snuggle toy and covered it with blanket. MIRACULOUSLY at this point she went quiet. for 20 minutes. then cried for another 30 minutes. then at about 12:30 she went totally quiet. at 4:45 i woke up cause i thought i smelled poo. opened crate to take to potty and nothing. was just a fart. big mistake. tried to cover back up and she cried and cried and cried. so brought her out to play and tiny training session, then trying to put her back in at about 6. another nightmare. not having the crate at all and crying for 40 minutes straight. when she calms for a second i try to start doing little crate training to create positive association, and she goes in willingly and i give her treat. after about 10 times of her going in and rewarding, i close back at 7 to try and enforce a nap because im really worried she has not been sleeping (and i haven’t either). she cried for 15 minutes then stopped. she’s been quiet almost 30 minutes to an hour now. i’m strung out and exhausted and also on my period

i prepared so much for this. watched so many videos and bought so many things. wasn’t an impulsive decision by any means i’ve wanted a puppy for so many years and specifically waited till i was in a more stable environment to get one. it’s just the first night and im already like wow. can i actually do this. it doesn’t help that her breeder treated her like a human baby and she got attention 24/7. now she’s extremely anxious whenever she isn’t getting it it seems. i took the week off work but seems i’ll need more time if this is how it’ll be. i dont even know if i have a good schedule. i really need to speak with a trainer just to get some advice but for some reason its hard to find a trainer online i can just speak to without paying 1000$ for one on one sessions. i’m exhausted and really stressed. i really want this but also just want her to settle in and feel safe and actually f**king sleep. idk what im doing. anything any advice any consolation would help. i think she’s sleeping now which is good. it’s been about 30 minutes of quiet and my plan is to wake her in 1.5 hours more to potty then play and train with treats for 1-1,5 hours then try and enforce nap again. does that make sense?

IS IT ALWAYS THIS HARD?!

(i want to start taking her outside but her breeder said to wait until 10 days after second round of shots since i live in an area where there’s sometimes coyotes or other animals. but my house is completely fenced off and i haven’t ever seen animals go inside so im considering taking her out for potty and short walks in the yard regardless. as i figure the risk within my yard is low. what do you think?)

 

[solascript]

@blapakona77

1. What you're going through is totally normal. I remember when we brought our puppy home and for three days I was constantly on the brink of tears and sleep deprived. It's ROUGH initially and no amount of reading or training can prepare you for that first week. Don't feel guilty just know that this is a normal reaction. Honestly even with our adult rescues we were questioning if we did the right thing but once we got over that first week hurdle it has just been up.
2. You need a schedule. I've owned small dogs my entire life and I've noticed that puppies usually go out about two times in the middle of the nignt and get up quite early(I got up at 6am for the first few months). Make a schedule and stick to it like your life depends on it. Meal times always at those times. Potty time always at those times. Gradually you can decrease the times at night until they sleep through the night (and you too).
3. Crate training is hard. I would feed in the crate and do lots of training so that way the puppy associates it as a positive thing. As for crate training at night unfortunately you just have to ignore the crying. It's awful. It breaks your heart. But once your puppy learns crying gets what she wants(attention or removed from the crate) its gonna get a lot worse and a lot harder to train. Usually after the first few nights they learn and are okay with it. Im not a super expert on it since I prefer my dogs to sleep with me so id definitely look into some youtube videos.
4. I would be hesitant to go against the breeders recommendations as they are experts but it sounds like the breeder means out in public rather than out in your backyard. Definitely wait until the puppy gets their 2nd or 3rd round of vaccines to take them out in public (walks, pet stores, dog parks, etc). But a backyard should be perfectly fine, I would never leave them out alone though because hawks and small puppies dont mix.

Good luck and remember that having a puppy is a lot like having a baby. It gets better I promise!

 

[blapakona77]

@solascript man. thank you so much for this. especially the first point was reassuring. hearing her cry was torture i didn’t even know they could scream like that. to your second point i really want to get her on a routine, i thought i had an idea how today would go but it was hard since she didn’t sleep through the night. and she’s still using pee pads so hard to schedule in pee pads but i’m gonna stick to that advice about feeding at same times. i think starting next week i’ll start taking her out every 2-3 hours for potty. i took her out for about 20 minutes today and she didn’t do anything. but it was also her first time outside ever so i think a bit overwhelming

 

[solascript]

@blapakona77 It's awful they know how to tug at your heartstrings for sure. I wish I could offer more advice on potty training but our pom was a freak of nature who could hold it like a champ so it involved some creativity. It also gets easier as they start to settle down. Hang in there though!

 

[blapakona77]

@solascript thank you i will :’)