Advice managing a dog who is desperate for attention

[lakes]

a little background info first, my dog is a female American Staff around 4 years old. My partner & I rescued her almost a year ago. we know nothing about where she came from as she was likely a breed & dump situation. But all things considered she’s been a really great dog since day one & we love having her.

now, ever since we brought her home she’s been pretty needy, but I feel like it’s only gotten worse. as in wants to be with us 24/7, wants to be in your lap the second you sit down, has to be able to see us at all times & will cry if she can hear us but not see us, constantly underfoot, nudging & licking for attention even if we’re sleeping, getting literally within in an inch of our faces & just staring, stresses out if one of us leaves (but doesn’t care whatsoever when we both are gone and she’s left alone) the list goes on. I’m happy she loves us but it becomes really annoying to constantly be tripping over her, smothered by her or feeling her eyes burning into you all day everyday.

I know all of these are signs of a bored, under-stimulated dog but there’s absolutely no reason for her to be like that. She’s almost never left alone, has access to a large backyard whenever she wants, goes for at least 1 long walk a day, has a million toys for her to play with both alone & with us, we got her a cat to play with and they’re besties, we’re constantly finding new ways to play with her & entertain her. I just don’t understand what more she needs from us to not be so up our asses. lol.

maybe it’s the result of us spoiling her too much or something. But I don’t know what to do differently to make her less desperate

 

[vlasit]

@lakes Dogs have to learn how to rest. They have to learn to deal with frustration, e.g. you not being able to play with it cause you’re doing something else right now. I started by ignoring my dog when it was whining and nudging me constantly, while I was working at my desk. It was tough. When he laid down and became quiet he got a treat and I petted him. Now he’s more quiet and we can actually enjoy play time with each other more cause I’m not annoyed by his constant need for attention.

I have a rescue dog too. We still have the issue of him not being able to eat alone but yeah… that’s another problem to figure out.

 

[lakes]

@vlasit yeah I think I might just be too available to her all the time. I tend to just drop whatever I’m doing to give her attention or throw the ball around anytime she brings it to me. I just feel awful telling her to go lay down or ignoring her because it’s not like she’s really misbehaving by being needy for attention so I end up feeling bad for her lol. but I’ll be trying rewarding desired behaviour with treats like you suggested starting today & see how it goes. Thank you!

 

[froland]

@vlasit This exactly. By not nurturing that nervous energy , and reward the dog for relaxing, the more stuff you can get done during the day. My dog is named Shadow, and he'd definitely tries sometimes, but gets rewarded when he relaxes and self plays as well. His favorite game to keep himself entertained is to run up the stairs with a ball, let it go bouncing down and trying to catch up to get it. It's pretty funny, doesn't damage anything and is a decent energy burner.

I still bring him out every day and play fetch for at least a half hour, and at least a few walks. Just like the human kids, they need boundaries that are realistic. If they keep nudging for more and more and don't get corrected and redirected to another better behavior, it just kind of snowballs.

My dog sometimes tries to whine for his food much earlier than normal.. but I keep the schedule the same and tell him that it's too early and to go lay down etc. So he hasn't tried that in a while.

 

[prophetofgod7]

@lakes You got a pitbull breed. Those dogs are notorious for being attention seeking cuddle bugs. They love to snuggle, live to be touching their people. My dog even has a blanket preference and will sit next to the person who has that blanket. She would rather you sit ON her than have to move away from you so you can fit yourself on the couch.

The only solution I can think of is maybe getting my another dog so she has some companionship that’s not you. On the rare occasions my pit isn’t snuggling with her humans, she’s snuggling with to her “sister”.

 

[prophetofgod7]

Ok, I just read the whole post and saw that she has a cat friend. You may just be SOL.

Especially if she’s been abandoned in the past she may be extra clingy. It could go away with a little more time but I have no solution for you because this just seems to be a thing with the breed. They don’t just want to be next to you, they want to share the space your body is occupying.

 

[lakes]

@prophetofgod7 I’m familiar with the breed & know they’re clingy. the issue is really more about the fact that she’s doing so out of some kind of separation issue, which I can’t imagine is comfy for her either.

 

[prophetofgod7]

@lakes Maybe she needs medication? My cousin had to out her dachshund on some for anxiety

 

[spike1615]

@prophetofgod7 Omg, the blanket thing is so funny. Our dog is the same way. Whoever has the blanket, gets the dog. And when that blanket is fresh out of the dryer, she is in heaven.

 

[prophetofgod7]

@spike1615 It’s specifically an Unhide blanket. Idk if you’ve ever used one but they are meant to be fake fur blankets that mimic the feel of real fur. They are super soft and keep you warm without overheating. Apparently a little of pets are obsessed with them. My pit will choose to sit next to the person closest to the unhide on the couch. It’s also where she chooses to lay on the bed so if I want to snuggle her I have to have the blanket ready for her to crawl under before she hops into bed.

 

[greg1911]

@lakes I've heard dogs like this called velcro dogs and, honestly, I love that. I got a bully puppy last year and asked the foster family which puppy was acting like yours and picked that one. It's kind of sad to read your dog is desperate for your love and attention and you find that annoying. You may have been happier with a more independent and lower energy dog.

Since you say you can't go many places with her, consider other mentally enriching activities such as brain games, puzzles, snuffle mats and long tasting chews such as beef cheeks. You can also train a variety of tricks. Look up Do More With Your Dog. Any scent work games are wonderful stimulation as well and will tire your dog out.

Many dogs are reactive or dog selective and don't get to play with other dogs, but there is still lots you can do together. Wishing you good luck.

 

[lakes]

@greg1911 I think you’ve misunderstood, I’m not unhappy with her & this isn’t a too much energy or lack of attention issue. It’s a nervous energy/anxiety that is undoubtedly not comfortable for her either. im trying to help her feel better so she can relax & I don’t have to trip over her so much.

 

[spike1615]

@lakes My dog was the same way when we rescued her. It lasted almost 2 years & then I think she finally realized, hey these people are definitely going to keep me. It’s hard when we have no idea what kind of trauma they endured that could be contributing to their neediness.

To be honest, now I really miss those days. She still cuddles at night when we watch TV, but doesn’t follow me around all day anymore. Enjoy it while it lasts

 

[futaba]

@lakes Would you be under stimulated if your were locked up on a single property all day with one long walk and a cat?

Most dogs need several walks per day, it's a dog not a toddler you can leave with an iPad all day.

As is the same with humans, you need multiple hours of physical activity each day to stay healthy body and mind.

Are you regulary socializing the dog or are you expecting two humans and a cat to meet it's social needs?

The fact that you said the dog is never left alone is pretty telling why it has attachment issues.

You have an animal that naturally spends it days running around and you can't figure out why one long walk and a large backyard isn't enough? They are living beings not accessories to your life.

 

[lakes]

@futaba I said AT LEAST one walk & listed several other things we do with her for exercise. To say that we’re “leaving her with an iPad all day” is a bit of a reach I think. the only thing that I wish we could do with her more often, but can’t, is to get her socialize & play with other dogs. But unfortunately where we live enforces breed specific legislation so she’s barred from any dog parks, daycares, etc. &most people with dogs we see on walks will cross the street away from her.

 

[futaba]

@lakes Playing with you or your partner or the cat isnt comparable to actual exercise or socializing with other dogs.

If you're expecting the dog to have its needs met without socializing them with other dogs it's the same as leaving a todler with an iPad and wondering why they haven't met the same levels of social maturity as the other kids or in this case dog.

Are you talking about Ontario? There's a bully ban but it isn't enforced unless your dog bites someone.

You should of taken that into consideration when adopting a breed that has special needs.

I doubt you're giving them multiple hours of exercise a day which alot of breeds need to be stimulated

You didn't answer the question either of whether or not you would be underestimulated, which the obvious answer is yes you would be yet somehow expect a dog which can't use the tv or read or speak to people to not be underestimulated.

Try meeting their needs first before trying to correct behaviour that is natural instinct.

Its not rocket science you have a social problem and the dogs social needs aren't being met as you've admitted, and bully's are super social

 

[lakes]

@futaba worse then my dog not getting daily socialization with other dogs would be me carelessly bringing her to dog parks where she’s not welcome, having someone report her & her getting either put down or shipped off out of province to an over crowded shelter somewhere. &to answer your question, I literally spend the same amount of time in the same house with the same cat, since my dog is always with me like I said. You’re making assumptions at this point that are contrary to what I’ve said so I’m not about to try & convince you.

 

[futaba]

@lakes So you say province so that would mean Ontario as Ontario is the only province with a bully ban.

The bully ban is not enforced this is highlighted by the fact that you were able to adopt them, also the premier has taken steps to repeal it. It simply isnt enforced. You should go taken this into consideration before adopting instead of trying to make excuses why you aren't meeting the dogs needs when it solely is your fault