advice for my first day with my adopted reactive dog?

[awretchlikeme]

Hi folks,

I just joined this group and I am SO happy to see that it exists! You all are so kind, supportive, and informed!

I'm adopting Toccio, a 3 year old Shit zhu - Bichon Frise, and he's arriving on Tuesday Morning. His owners are giving him up because his constant barking is disturbing the neighbours, and they've received written notices from their condo board. They were going to have him put down (!).

Fortunately, one of their friends said, give me a month- I'll find a home for Toccio! She posted about him on a neighbourhood facebook page, and so many people offered advice, or to help train him for free, anything to help them keep him in their family. But apparently training had been tried, and the couple still wanted to give him up.

I had just started doing a bit of dog-sitting, and dog boarding. I grew up with, and loved dogs, but the timing had not been right for me to own one as an adult. When I saw the post about Toccio, I hadn't had a request for my services for a couple of weeks, and I found myself playing and replaying the videos I had taken of the dogs in my care over and over again. My last doggie boarder was Rupert, a 3 yr old Golden Retriever who stayed with me for two weeks. He was, of course, a sweetie, who wanted lots of love and play, and then some more love and play. It was a good reminder for me about some of the demands and responsibilities of full- time dog care. (I'm still finding socks he stole all over my place! )

So, I contacted G., the owner's friend, she put me in contact with X., one of Toccio's humans, and we arranged a meeting. X had warned me that Toccio was aggressive, especially towards strangers. But I had already done a fair bit of homework, and knew that there was a difference between aggression and reactivity. And I'd also been bingeing Rocky Tanaka's Sitting with Dogs youtube channel for the past 5 months or so, and I found that I had learned a lot about dogs who *don't* relentlessly shower you with kisses and roll over on their tummies when they first meet you!

We met in a little parkette that was near their place and was known to Toccio. When I got about thirty feet away from them, Toccio started barking. So, I sat down on the grass, and encouraged X to do the same. Over the course of 2 hrs, I moved closer to Toccio, sitting sideways, not making eye contact, taking with X and encouraging her to just let him bark it out, and once he was calm, to reward him with a treat. I saw that he was very treat motivated, and very loving and affectionate towards X. It was also clear that he was very protective of her.

As I inched closer, I tried to find out as much as I could about Toccio:

I asked, has he been micro-chipped?

What's that? she replied.

Oh, but he's had his vaccinations?

Well, he got one.

Uhm, when was the last time he was at the vet.

Oh, I don't remember. But it was before COVID.

I tried to keep a blank face, to be non-reactive myself , the more I learned.

How does he like to play? Does he have a favourite toy?

Oh, he doesn't have many toys.

And you were able to get some training for him?

Ya! They said that taking him for walks would help.

Later, talking with G., G informed me, "Oh ya. they just don't walk him. He rarely goes out."

I'm sharing these details not to invite judgment on the owners, but because they helped me begin to understand why Toccio was barking so much, and reactive towards strangers. I'd be barking too!

After 2 hrs, I was sitting about 3 feet away, and Toccio was calm, even lying down. He'd taken treats from me, which I thought was amazing! And his tail was wagging and his demeanor became very friendly in those moments, but he would sometimes growl with bared teeth a minute later. And he did nip me once. I took that as a sign that we needed to back-up. But we'd run out of treats, and it was time to go.

I was already in love, and knew that this dog needed a change in his circumstances at the very least. I'd previously contacted R., one of the people who responded on the facebook group, and asked her if she'd extend her generous offer of help to me, if I adopted Toccio. She said, Of course, immediately, and shared that she volunteers at a local humane society. She's already given me encouragement and great advice and insights. G. is so happy that Toccio will have a new, loving home. There's already this community of love forming around this dog. It's really lovely

I know this will be a challenge, and require lots of patience and time, and commitment to training. But I feel very hopeful that I can help Toccio overcome his fears and reactivity, especially with support. I'm working from home, part time, for the next four months, so I'll be able to give him a lot of attention and focus. I think my apartment is also really set up well for this dog's needs. I have a fenced in 25 x 25 deck, completely private, so I can help him become habituated with being outside, with all the squirrels, and bird noises, and the other noises of city life, without the triggers of other dogs and strangers. (We'll try that out later!)

But of course I'm also a bit nervous!

I'd love some advice about the first minutes, hours, and days.

Here's what I've planned so far. I'm going to close the doors to the two carpeted rooms that aren't dog-proofed yet. That still leaves lots of space for Toccio to roam, and also keep his distance from me until he feels secure. And if he has accidents, it's easily cleaned up! He uses a pee-pad.

He doesn't have a dog bed, no surprises there, so I'm going to create a couple of soft, cozy make-shift beds in different corners of my living room.

R. said that when she was caring for a dog that was nervous around strangers, and she had visitors, she would leave her door unlocked, and advise them just to come in, very low key. I think that would be a great way for Toccio to be able to enter my place, close to his owner, to help with the transition. Also, my entrance-way is very narrow, so if I greeted them at the door, his first experience of his new home would be a claustrophobic encounter with a stranger.

I learned that he loves chicken. So, I'm going to cook a roast chicken to be ready an hour or so before he arrives. I want my place to be totally suffused with that smell! I'm going to prepare little treat sized pieces of the chicken, and sit on the couch, which is against the wall furthest away from the entrance. I want his first impression of my place to be, "There's chicken here! And I love chicken!"

And then I just plan to let him explore, and approach me when he feels ready.

That's what I got so far.

I'd really, really welcome any feedback, suggestions. I know there's going to be a lot of stuff I haven't anticipated, cause I just haven't spent time with a dog in this condition before. When I was in my 20s, friends and I ran a summer arts program for elementary aged at- risk youth, and we decorated our space with balloons on the first day, to make it bright and welcoming. At the end of the day, after the last kid had gone, and we collapsed, exhausted from the tornado of hyperactivity that we'd just experienced, we looked at each other, and said, ok. no more balloons!!! I'm sure I'll make mistakes like that. So if you see any balloons in my plans, I'd be grateful if you pointed it out!

Sorry for such a long post!

Katherine

 

[rgw00]

@awretchlikeme This post really moved me. I can feel how devoted you already are to Toccio. He, as would any dog, is lucky to have you. You remind me a little of myself prior to getting my current dog, Roman. I was near obsessed-level committed to this guy. I had considered myself experienced with dogs (I had worked and owned Great Danes) but he was my first bully breed and my first truly, truly problem dog. I have never, to date, worked with another dog quite as unstable as him.

As you move through the days and weeks and months with Toccio, I would offer one word of advice: take care of yourself. This is the single, most valuable lesson my Roman has taught me. It's impossible to keep their cup full when yours is empty. Progress, as you know, will be slow. There will be days when things do not go according to plan, no matter how well you planned them. There will be extremely bad days, days that make you feel like a failure, days that are so shit that you question yourself, your methods, your skill. I was not told this, and I wish I was. I was prepared for patience, skill, compassion, but not for the tole this work could take on my own mental health. It's hard, beyond comprehension, to watch a dog you love struggle. Take days for yourself. Get professional help from a certified behaviourist (or maybe even a vet behavioural specialist) if you feel like it would help.

You seem like you have things worked out very well. Trust your intuition! Don't let anyone speak over that gut feeling. All the advice that I ever took that went against my intuition ended badly. Just feel it out. Let it come naturally, especially in those first few days. In terms of actual technique, reduce pressure as much as you can. Avoid luring with treats, rewarding with treats, anything like that. Just feed him. Avoid asking him for anything. This is a dog with a lot of trauma. Just let him be, follow his lead for now. All that behavioural modification stuff comes much, much later. It's first and foremost about establishing trust, and observing what he's actually like (what he's afraid of, what he enjoys, what triggers him, etc).

I would also take him to the vet ASAP, particularly for a referral to a vet behavioural specialist. I predict he'll need it in the first few months of being with you. The really good specialists have a long waitlist, so get in there as soon as you can (most will evaluate and see you virtually, since dogs that need this kind of help usually struggle at the vet). This is about setting you up for a future with him. We want to establish calm, happy associations right off the bat. Based on what you've described, I really predict that he'll require some kind of behavioural med, likely an anti-anxiety such as fluoxetine (especially as you start working your way up to training and rehabilitation). If you've scrolled through this group, you've probably noticed that most of these dogs, who are making solid progress at least, are on something like this (mine is on a combo of medication). It can be a game changer for their quality of life. At least book a consultation with a vet specialist; a lot of dogs just need some help, especially while they adjust to a new environment.

If you have a bad day, know that Roman is what I would whole-heartedly call stable now. Strangers see a calm, confident, gentle dog. You'll get there!

 

[awretchlikeme]

@rgw00 Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words!

Remembering to care of one's own mental health is such good advice! I'm doing some planning for that too- like, some treats for me!!

Truly, your e-mail is so helpful and informative, and I am so happy for you and Roman!

 

[lia1234]

@awretchlikeme This is so sweet, he is so lucky that you found him. I think you are going to do all the right things and you will figure this little guy out! One thing I will say is to just take it super super slow for the first several weeks. Don’t put him into any spaces he doesnt want to be in, don’t try to get close if he doesn’t want it, don’t take him places (other than the vet) that he will be freaked out. Just let him adjust don’t try to do too much training in the beginning
Also, i would maybe get a slip lead to take him out the first several days, just in case he doesn’t want you to touch him to put a normal leash on.

 

[awretchlikeme]

@lia1234 Thank you so much!!! It feels really good to have my instincts confirmed. The slip lead sounds like a really good idea! I'm off to the pet story to get a few last things, so I'll pick one up there.

thank you so much for your encouragement and support!

 

[zakknight]

@awretchlikeme This is really lovely, I’m always moved to see people that really care for reactive dogs like this!

I’d say keep doing what you’re doing and be patient, it’ll take him a while to feel at home with you. The other biggest thing that goes without saying a lot of the time, is to just build as strong of a relationship with your dog as possible. Don’t base it off of transactions (i.e., that he has to “earn” treats, toys, or affection). Just loving the dog and making him feel safe and secure goes a really long way.

 

[awretchlikeme]

@zakknight Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement. With each of these comments, I'm feeling increasingly confident about my gut sense. Patience, time, space and unconditional love!

I'm so excited!!!

 

[christlover46]

@awretchlikeme Can't really offer any insight as my own rescue dog was an extreme case.
He was abused and had some very severe issues, including aggressive behaviours which were downright dangerous, he's also a GSD X mastiff so about 5 x the size of your new little dude.

However, I applaud you in seeing the issues with Toccio and being willing to work through them and fix the things that are not his fault. So many people see a reactive dog and are quick to apply labels like "bad dog" or "aggressive".

Good luck to both of you on your journey together. I'm sure you will have an awesome companion once his needs are being met.

 

[awretchlikeme]

@christlover46 Thank you for sharing a bit about your story with your dog with me. I'm awestruck and so moved that you had the compassion and commitment and patience to help your dog heal.

And thank you also for the affirmation and encouragement!