Advice for a Dog at the End of Life

[ivi67]

My mother and I had to make the difficult decision to put our beloved seven year old boxer to sleep today. Upon visiting the vet, we found out he had a tumor in his chest in an area that could not be operated on. He recently started coughing up blood and occasionally vomiting up small amounts of foam and blood. He also has a deformity in his spine where it is painful for him to standup when sitting, though he does not typically struggle with this. We haven’t scheduled a date yet to have this done just yet, but his cough seems to be getting worse so we I’ll be doing that in the next day or so.

The vet said they can’t guarantee that the spot on the X-ray is a tumor without an MRI, but since he’s coughing up blood it is highly likely that this is the case. I guess my question is, has anyone here ever experienced a situation like this where a dog had what looked like a tumor by their chest and ended up coughing up something else? I know the likelihood of this is extremely low, but I’m just curious if anyone else has ever had that miracle happen?

This will be my first time personally being with an animal that is being put to sleep. Our dog is still eating and has some energy (though he’s slowed down considerably in the last year, so maybe that was a tumor starting to grow), so I worry that he won’t be ready to go and will fight during the process. I know no dog is “ready” to leave ever, but he isn’t in bad shape right now, but as the vet has told us a tumor like this won’t get any better and can quickly worsen, putting him to sleep right now would save pain later. Does anyone have advice for someone who will be experiencing this for the first time? (Sorry I’m advance for any misspellings or grammar mistakes). I know it will be hard but this is the first pet I’ve been old enough to have a strong connection with and I need to be there with him and my mother.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@ivi67 First off: I'm sorry that you have to go through this and make such a hard decision much earlier than you expected to. I haven't experienced this exact situation myself. I have had a dog who needed to be put down due to a malignant tumor, but she was already entering advanced age at the time, so it was not quite the same as your current situation.

What I will say is this: When you bring a dog into your life and your family, you are taking on all of the responsibilities that come with caring for a living, feeling being. Part of those responsibilities are end-of-life care and making the hard decision to let go when the time comes. We all love our dogs; they are our family. But sometimes it takes a strong will to make the decision that ends their suffering at the expense of our own selfish wants. If your dog is already coughing and vomiting up blood, it sounds like he is in really bad shape.

Since this is your first time, I can tell you that the medication the vet uses to euthanize will not give your dog the chance to "fight" during the process. It is a fast-acting sedative. He will quickly pass on a second or two after the drug is administered by the vet via injection. One second he will be there with you and the next he will simply be gone, eyes still open. It is a bit morbid, but that is how it happens. They may administer a lesser sedative prior to the euthanizing drug, so hopefully your boy will already be lying peacefully on his side with you next to him, giving him comfort. There shouldn't be any dramatic falls or spasms.

You are completely right in your mindset that you should be there in the room with him and your mother when the time comes. He will need you there to help him be less afraid in the strange, unfamiliar environment that is a vet's office. You owe it to your boy to make sure that he is not alone when the time comes. When I was a teenager, I was not present when we finally had to put down one of our family dogs. I regret it to this day. I have since been there for another family pet when her time came and, despite the sorrow, I am certain it was a valuable experience for both me and her.

One last remark: Take some personal time with your boy before the day of the procedure if you can. Pamper him, take him to the park or the beach or wherever he liked to go if there were any places like that, cook him a fucking steak dinner to send him off. Hold him, talk to him, and tell him that you love him. He has been just a small part of your world, but you and your family have been his entire world. Send him out like the king he is.

It is clear that you love your boy and want to do what is best for him - despite how terrible a thing that has to be right now. Don't regret it and don't blame yourself for any of this - it's just life as a dog owner. Just do what is best for him and know that you gave him the best care and the most love that you could. I hope that these words might have offered some insight into the process and will make things easier for you. Best of luck to you.

 

[minnie965]

@ivi67 It will be hard, but for me its been important to be there.

Many vets will give a light sedative first, followed by the euthanasia medication in a few minutes. There isn't likely to be much fuss. If your pup is active they may take him to the back to insert an IV, and then use that to administer the mess once you're ready. If it helps you to feel calmer they can explain the process to you if you ask.

Many vet offices will give you time. They are compassionate, and won't rush you. They often have special rooms, which are quiet and calm spaces. Take some time, before and after. Remember the good things and share a positive memory with your mom.

You may want to clip a lock of hair, or take a paw print in ink or cast it in salt dough. You can get kits of air dry clay at most craft stores too, they work well for this. Your vet may offer those sort of keepsakes as part of the service.

Its OK, and completely normal, to feel sad, or like its too early, or like you aren't ready. Especially when its sudden. Take time to yourself, or go for a walk with a close friend. Whichever feels comforting for you.

I will say, from this post and your other, I would be following your vets advice. If your pup isn't having symptoms it can be hard to understand why its better not to wait, but you can't explain why he'll be hurting or have trouble breathing to a dog. Take the last night and do some (gentle) special things. Feed a special meal tomorrow morning. Give all the treats your pup wants (not too fatty or it'll hurt his tummy), and all the cuddles and pets.

Bring a special bed, or toy, or blanket with you. Both for your pup, and then for yourselves.

This is a hard thing. I'm sorry you're having to go through it.