Advice child fear aggression

[anna3]

I’m sorry this is longer than i planned to write. But I’m at a total loss, I’ve wished/hoped/prayed to find my person. My dog is my rock. He’s my everything. I’ve had my dog since he was 8 weeks old and now 7.5 years later he has been the reason i live through all the pain i endure with my health issues. I couldn’t leave him behind He’s saved me so many times. I truly wouldn’t be alive without him. I’m 37 and i gave up hope of finding my person. I have a couple rules on dating. One being i don’t date anyone with children, for multiple reasons. But I think my person has found me. It should be too soon to tell. But everything feels exactly right. Hard to explain but everything seems meant to be. Everything except he has an 18 month old. As much as i love children (and hoped to one day have my own) I have no clue on how to make this work. Im technically disabled (though not in a wheelchair) and I’ve tried so many times to save up for a behaviorist for my dog. The vet did give me a prescription for prozac that i think i’m finally going to give a try. Ive been apprehensive about it. But my dog is just literally scared of everything. He has a hard time sometimes with men, but my new guy, he just loves him. However my dog doesn’t do well with children i can’t even let him get close enough for any kid to pet him. He barks and lunges and acts bonkers. His hair stands up on his back and everything. When he was still a pup he started barking at my stepsisters children and my dad screamed at him and really scared him and it literally scarred him where he is still scared of my dad. It’s taken 7.5 years for him to warm up to him and if he even raises his voice to my stepmom when we visit. The dog will hide and shake behind me. I have tried to have him meet my best friend’s kids. She has 4 of different ages but though the teenagers were fine, the ten year old and 4 yr old he just barked and scared them. I will never ever give up my dog for anyone. But how can i live with my boyfriend when he has his daughter fri-sun. Ive thought about maybe having to live in the rv/trailer with the dog. I’m so worried i’m going to lose my person because it seems impossible under the circumstances to be together. Being able to live with him would drastically improve my life. It’s truly the answer to my prayers. How can I have both, my dog and my person has anyone had issues with their dog with children and were able to train them?

 

[zhangyue]

@anna3 I don’t think it’s worth the risk to have a dog who’s reactive to children and a child in the house together. Even if you try and always keep them separated, we’re only human, and management always fails at some point. I’m not sure how your partner feels about all this, but I would think as a parent, he wouldn’t want to take that risk. This situation is just a shitty one, and I’m sorry.

 

[thomask]

@anna3 Try the medication immediately and give it time to metabolize to see if it works. But if you're thinking of passing on a wonderful relationship because of your dog, who may only live another 3-5 years, you need some psychological counseling. A lifetime of love and companionship with a human being trumps your relationship with your dog. Step back and try to be more objective about your life. The dog will be the reason you pass on happiness? Keep things in perspective! Work with behaviorists also, but medication seems your best bet right now

 

[anna3]

@thomask Thank you. I would choose my dog first always though. Like every parent should put their kid first over relationships. My mom gave away all of our pets growing up. I will never go through that again. I’ll try the meds and reach out to some trainers

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@anna3 It's clearly not safe for the dog to be around a child. But people have all kinds of arrangements, especially if he shares custody i'm sure some type of compromise can be worked out if the relationship continues to progress.

Don't get ahead of yourself. Enjoy this time. In a few months you'll either be wondering what you were thinking (ever having thought they were "the one") or you'll be glad you didn't worry about things needlessly because a solution presented itself.

 

[anna3]

@imagebeastmarkbeast Thank you. You’re right!