Advice About Adding a Second Potentially Reactive Dog to Our Home?

[chacha13]

Hi all,

I currently have a 9 year old shepherd mix, who is generally a v good girl. When I first got her, she had really bad separation anxiety and we worked on that a lot, so now she's chill most of the time. She loves all people (though scared of children and the elderly lol), and due to the separation anxiety, still has a pretty big meltdown when folks return home/visitors enter. Reactivity wise, she doesn't do this with me generally, but she can get possessive/growly over the couch/certain toys, where she growls pretty consistently if anyone gets too close (particularly once it's night). She also can get weird about certain dogs, particularly those that are bigger than her or dogs that play too energetically/don't take boundary cues, and gets reactive on leashes. She's lived with other dogs before, and it's generally been fine (as long as she initially met the dog outside of the house the first few times), but those dogs were all ones that mostly left her alone/ignored her and let her come to them in terms of initiating play etc.

My boyfriend and I moved into a house together recently, and he's initiated the adoption process on a one year old hound, and we're going to meet her tomorrow (w/ my dog). When talking to the foster, she disclosed that the dog nipped a young child (that tbf was not respecting its boundaries) on one of the last adoption visits, and that the dog, b/c she's skittish, has a tendency to bark/growl when new people approach. That said, the dog is currently living happily with 3 other dogs who the foster said are all kinda neurotic/reactive and that she's really good w/ obeying boundaries when their older dog sets them.

I will admit that I'm a bit nervous. My boyfriend wants this to be *his* dog, since he's wanted one for so long, so I'm a bit hesitant to express concerns b/c I don't want to co-opt this process. First, I love my dog and she's def. chilled out over the years, but there have been times when it's been super hard to deal with a dog that can be aggressive toward other dogs. Since this dog exhibits reactivity toward dogs and people, I've never dealt with that before, but I can only imagine that's even harder to navigate. And I don't think my BF understands, since all his childhood dogs were not reactive, how difficult it can be.

I know there's a good chance the dogs will get along fine, especially with time and letting them get a feel for each other, but I guess I'd just like some advice for folks who have added a new dog into their home (or who have fostered etc.) about tips for peacefully transitioning a new dog in, ways to mitigate the two dogs amping each other up/teaching each other bad behaviors, any relevant experience etc.. This dog honestly seems sweet and like she could be a great addition to our family, but I think I'm feeling a bit pessimistic right now and would love a hype up.

Edit: Also, since we're meeting the dog/foster mom tomorrow, if you have advice about questions we should ask or things we should do during the meet, that'd be great too!

 

[hnoumoua]

@chacha13 I really would reconsider adding another dog to your home if your dog is already reactive.

Are you guys prepared to potentially have to crate/rotate your dogs because they can’t handle being together? I would be extremely nervous of an over correction from one dog turning into a fight.

A 1 year old dog is going to be energetic and not fully understand social cues which will probably trigger your dog. Not to mention you said your dog resource guards at home?

 

[chacha13]

@hnoumoua So my dog can be reactive toward other dogs, but I'm pretty good at this point of knowing what triggers her and how to avoid/mitigate (i.e., it's mostly leashes or a dog running into our house when she's not familiar or expecting it). And I would say her reactivity is fairly mild and manifests as growling, and in extreme cases, a loud bark/baring teeth, but never biting/fighting. In terms of resource guarding, when she's in a guarding mood, she'll just softly growl if people/animals come close, but in the past decade, she's never acted on it a more serious/aggressive way (in general, when pressed, she'll just get annoyed and leave the room, put herself to bed, etc.).

For me, it's less about the idea of a second dog, but more so finding a second dog that's a good fit. She's successfully lived with at least like 6 or 7 diff dogs over the years for periods ranging from a few months to multiple years, but, the dogs that she's lived with have all been adults and/or respectful of doggie boundaries. In fact, she honestly seems to be way happier/energetic/playful with a second dog in the home.

My worst fear would be that the dogs hate each other and have to be separated, but I don't really see that happening (from my dog's side at least) unless the new dog is a really large puppy that doesn't know social cues but is much larger than her or the other new dog is more reactive and initiating the aggressive/fighting behavior. But, that said, again, I haven't had my dog live with another fearful/reactive dog before, so that's just speculation based on how I've seen my dog interact, but I know that's no guarantee.

I think the fear that I'm more worried about is that the dogs will end up pick up bad behaviors from each other. That is, if my dog is primarily leash reactive, is this new dog going to learn that (though it seem she might be already)? If this new dog warning barks at strangers/dogs she passes on the street, is it likely my dog will pick that up? What about snipping at people when scared? etc.

 

[hnoumoua]

@chacha13 SLOW introductions are going to be key. You’re going to want to establish a good relationship before letting the new dog into your home.

That is good that your dog and the other have been around others and are okay once they get comfortable, I still would be wary of the younger dog being too pushy towards the older and that potentially causing issues.

Yes the dogs can learn to be reactive just like the other, if one dog is nervous the other could totally pick up on that and they could feed off each other’s energy.

If you end up deciding to bring this dog home, or even another I would hire a professional trainer to work out the kinks of it and be prepared for the potential worse case scenario of it not being a great fit.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@chacha13 Your GSD sounds a lot like mine, overall very good but also territorial, leash reactive, sensitive and full of big feelings. When we decided to add a second dog to our family, we were very selective. An adult dog with well-established non-reactive behavior patterns, friendly and chill with everyone, one who wouldn't amplify GSD's stressy energy.

We were able to find this miracle dog (6y/o husky/samoyed) and it has still been a whooole process to get to a peaceful place. Husky was pretty chill from the beginning, so everything was on GSD's timetable. After the initial introduction, we kept them separate and focused a lot of energy into individual training / obedience for both dogs.

For a while, their only interaction was both dogs in their "places" on opposite sides of the room any time they weren't working directly with me or my partner. Once they were both good at settling (this took weeks, it was very boring), then it was one dog up, one dog down - dog that's up is on leash with a handler, walking calmly around the room but giving plenty of space to the dog that's in their place. Switch every 5 min or so, but if either one is having too much trouble staying calm, go back to both dogs in their places. Eventually both dogs in a "down" next to each other, learning to settle there. Same process in the yard. And never underestimate the power of parallel walks.

We also made a big deal about calm transitions. So no bursting out of the crate, no shoving through doors or sprinting down stairs. Keeping the energy level chill at all times (easier said than done).

It's taken GSD about a month to learn that she can safely ignore him and that his existence means more fun, love, treats, etc. so she's better about not resource guarding. With stuff she likes to guard (me, the bed, the couch) one person would have her in her "place" giving her lots of treats and praise, while the husky would be allowed on/near the guarded object. She whined and grumbled a lot but eventually got the message that the world doesn't crumble when her mom pets someone else

We still haven't introduced toys and we feed them in separate rooms. And of course each dog's "place" (bed) and crate are completely their own, so everyone has a personal bubble / retreat area.

It is a lot of work!! So much management, training, whining and a few big meltdowns from my GSD, figuring out the right approach, questioning if we made a mistake. But sooo rewarding now that they're finally able to interact (relatively) calmly and entertain each other.

You'll probably have to "train" your bf too if he doesn't really understand reactive dogs. The way he handles the new dog is just as important as the way you handle yours because both dogs have to behave in ways that help the other dog feel safe. Make sure the dogs trust that you've always got a handle on the situation and give them lots of time apart to decompress.

I totally think you can do this if you set yourself up for success by choosing the right dog and are prepared to put in the time and effort to ensure both dogs are safe and calm. It also never hurts to contact a professional trainer who can get to know both dogs, come see how they interact in your home, and give you tips and ideas when you run into trouble.

I hope this helps! Good luck!

Edit: I do agree with other posters that the 1 y/o dog you're considering might not be the best option. Dogs aren't fully socially developed at that age so there's a much greater chance that your dog's nervous / reactive energy will rub off on this new dog, rather than the other way around. If your bf is open to it, I'd look for a dog that's at least 3 years old from a place that can give you a fairly detailed history of their behavior. Also a place where you can either introduce your current dog to the new dog before adopting, or adopt and return the dog if the intro doesn't go well. I've never returned a dog before, but I was fully prepared to if necessary with this second dog because my priority was the dog I already had.

 

[jamesdb]

@imagebeastmarkbeast This is such a fantastic and thoughtful approach to intros. I really just wanted to take a second to applaud the work you put in.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@jamesdb Thank you! It feels super nice for someone to appreciate my hard work I'm sure everyone here knows, having a reactive dog can feel a bit thankless at times.

 

[snoops]

@chacha13 I’d post this in r/relationship_advice too

I personally wouldn’t do this. Adding two reactive dogs is a recipe for disaster. The fact he initiated an adoption process knowing you were going to be living together and knowing there is already a reactive dog in the house and didn’t even discuss this with you is insane to me.

 

[chacha13]

@snoops Oh, sorry, this is unclear! Ha, my BF is not as unhinged as I clearly made him seem in the post lol Since I've known my BF, he's been vocal about wanting a dog, but basically couldn't get one b/c he was renting. At one point, I was being annoying by sending him hella dog-adoption postings, so he basically asked me to step back b/c he felt like I was co-opting the process, which is fair.

I've known he's been looking at dogs for a minute now, but I think this adoption process just went fast (I knew when he put an application in, and I was ok with it), particularly b/c this dog has been being fostered for a while and multiple families have opted to go with different dogs. The stuff w/ the reactive dog is only coming up now b/c the foster disclosed the reactivity stuff on the phone (it wasn't on the dog's posting online).