inquirer17
New member
Hoping to vent and see if anyone’s gone through a similar situation.
Me and my husband have a 10-year old shepherd/chow/various other breeds mix. She’s about 40 pounds and up to the knee. She’s been difficult from the very start. We got her when we were 21 and 24 from a shady friend of a friend, and we’ve had her since she was six weeks old. We know she was weaned early and she’s always had bad separation anxiety. When she was a puppy we did everything we could to try to socialize her. Group training classes, the dog park, outings to friends’ houses, hikes on shared trails, you name it. She did reasonably well in these situations until she was about a year old. Starting getting nippy at the dog park and to people inside our house she perceived getting too close to either of us. She started to show aggression towards women (barking, lunging, nips to a few friends’ hands). We brought her to a behaviorist at the suggestion of our vet around that time and got her on situational trazodone, were told to keep her in a separate room with her toys when we had guests, etc. she pulled on the leash but wasn’t what I’d call aggressive on walks, mostly yappy, and we also had a fenced in yard at that time so she was able to hang out there alone for a good portion of the time as well.
When she was a few years old I was home alone with her and the doorbell rang. It ended up being a guy with the DNC trying to register people to vote. I had just woken up from a nap and guess my reflexes were a little off because she snuck right past me and lunged at this kid. Went for his elbow and bit. I pulled her off and he was wearing layers so thankfully he wasn’t hurt. He did attempt to sue us though and our home insurance paid out. After that incident we kept her extremely separate from all but a few trusted friends and the kennel we use to board her. She is fine and very affectionate to me and my husband and has never once been aggressive to either of us but since this incident I have never trusted her around any other people to be honest, even “safe” friends. So this was our standard for the past 7-8ish years.
When we got this dog we were living in a house my husband inherited from family. It was not in good condition and I was not concerned with any minor cosmetic damage done to it so she had basically free run of the place. This is after she had destroyed several plastic and metal crates from ages 0-2. She would scratch some doors and chewed on some stair handrails a couple times but I generally did not need to worry about outright destructive behavior in the house. This is why we hobbled along in this situation for so long—she was not good outside of the house, but was fine within it.
Earlier this year my husband and I got serious about buying a new place. We had both just gotten big raises and the old house was truly falling apart in a lot of major ways. We landed an absolutely amazing house from a hookup from a friend who’s a realtor. A gorgeous Tudor in a lovely neighborhood. The inside is brand new, we bought it from a builder. The house is truly a dream.
Except for the dog. I’m not willing to give her free reign because of her history of smaller cosmetic damage, and because in states of anxiety—like if landscapers come, or Amazon—she may pee on the floor. Id throw a wee wee pad down on the cracked linoleum of the old house, but this house has brand new pine floors. No way.
A big draw of this house when we first did a walk through was the basement. It’s fully finished with a tile floor, and other than a den/playroom area with carpet, this is a large space—rivals the amount of space total she had in the old house. We figured she could hang out down there with toys and food and water, it’s a very big area with its own temperature control and a few ground level windows.
Since we moved in in July the dog has absolutely trashed the basement. She’s annoyed and evidently very anxious that she can not roam the entire house. She has eaten through a hollow door, ripped out a baseboard radiator, eaten the edges of the carpet and its mat, and tunneled through drywall. She has scratched and chewed at door frames. she has done all this while being on extremely high doses of trazodone in combination with gabapentin. We’ve been walking her for close to an hour and a half each day in an effort to tire her out. Nothing works.
I work from home but I obviously have to leave occasionally for other events and obligations. My husband has a very intense work schedule outside the house. My mental health is in absolute shambles and I’d be lying if I said I felt much of anything but resentment towards this dog.
I left today at 6 PM after being with her for the past 2 straight days to meet my husband for a movie. We came back 3 hours later to new pieces of the door frame splintered off.
We ordered the impact high anxiety crate as a last resort but I have this feeling she’ll tear clean through it.
Anyone else experience anything remotely like this? I have spent thousands of dollars in the past few months on renovations and tens of thousands on behavior management over her lifetime, not to mention the effort and time. I do love her deep down, I just feel at this point she is so anxious and destructive and I am just burnt out. Looking for any advice or guidance or solidarity.
Me and my husband have a 10-year old shepherd/chow/various other breeds mix. She’s about 40 pounds and up to the knee. She’s been difficult from the very start. We got her when we were 21 and 24 from a shady friend of a friend, and we’ve had her since she was six weeks old. We know she was weaned early and she’s always had bad separation anxiety. When she was a puppy we did everything we could to try to socialize her. Group training classes, the dog park, outings to friends’ houses, hikes on shared trails, you name it. She did reasonably well in these situations until she was about a year old. Starting getting nippy at the dog park and to people inside our house she perceived getting too close to either of us. She started to show aggression towards women (barking, lunging, nips to a few friends’ hands). We brought her to a behaviorist at the suggestion of our vet around that time and got her on situational trazodone, were told to keep her in a separate room with her toys when we had guests, etc. she pulled on the leash but wasn’t what I’d call aggressive on walks, mostly yappy, and we also had a fenced in yard at that time so she was able to hang out there alone for a good portion of the time as well.
When she was a few years old I was home alone with her and the doorbell rang. It ended up being a guy with the DNC trying to register people to vote. I had just woken up from a nap and guess my reflexes were a little off because she snuck right past me and lunged at this kid. Went for his elbow and bit. I pulled her off and he was wearing layers so thankfully he wasn’t hurt. He did attempt to sue us though and our home insurance paid out. After that incident we kept her extremely separate from all but a few trusted friends and the kennel we use to board her. She is fine and very affectionate to me and my husband and has never once been aggressive to either of us but since this incident I have never trusted her around any other people to be honest, even “safe” friends. So this was our standard for the past 7-8ish years.
When we got this dog we were living in a house my husband inherited from family. It was not in good condition and I was not concerned with any minor cosmetic damage done to it so she had basically free run of the place. This is after she had destroyed several plastic and metal crates from ages 0-2. She would scratch some doors and chewed on some stair handrails a couple times but I generally did not need to worry about outright destructive behavior in the house. This is why we hobbled along in this situation for so long—she was not good outside of the house, but was fine within it.
Earlier this year my husband and I got serious about buying a new place. We had both just gotten big raises and the old house was truly falling apart in a lot of major ways. We landed an absolutely amazing house from a hookup from a friend who’s a realtor. A gorgeous Tudor in a lovely neighborhood. The inside is brand new, we bought it from a builder. The house is truly a dream.
Except for the dog. I’m not willing to give her free reign because of her history of smaller cosmetic damage, and because in states of anxiety—like if landscapers come, or Amazon—she may pee on the floor. Id throw a wee wee pad down on the cracked linoleum of the old house, but this house has brand new pine floors. No way.
A big draw of this house when we first did a walk through was the basement. It’s fully finished with a tile floor, and other than a den/playroom area with carpet, this is a large space—rivals the amount of space total she had in the old house. We figured she could hang out down there with toys and food and water, it’s a very big area with its own temperature control and a few ground level windows.
Since we moved in in July the dog has absolutely trashed the basement. She’s annoyed and evidently very anxious that she can not roam the entire house. She has eaten through a hollow door, ripped out a baseboard radiator, eaten the edges of the carpet and its mat, and tunneled through drywall. She has scratched and chewed at door frames. she has done all this while being on extremely high doses of trazodone in combination with gabapentin. We’ve been walking her for close to an hour and a half each day in an effort to tire her out. Nothing works.
I work from home but I obviously have to leave occasionally for other events and obligations. My husband has a very intense work schedule outside the house. My mental health is in absolute shambles and I’d be lying if I said I felt much of anything but resentment towards this dog.
I left today at 6 PM after being with her for the past 2 straight days to meet my husband for a movie. We came back 3 hours later to new pieces of the door frame splintered off.
We ordered the impact high anxiety crate as a last resort but I have this feeling she’ll tear clean through it.
Anyone else experience anything remotely like this? I have spent thousands of dollars in the past few months on renovations and tens of thousands on behavior management over her lifetime, not to mention the effort and time. I do love her deep down, I just feel at this point she is so anxious and destructive and I am just burnt out. Looking for any advice or guidance or solidarity.
I’m going to have to get mine back on Prozac too… she’s been trying to jump out the windows again. She did it once before and broke her leg. Thanks to separation anxiety. Now she’s ripping out the screen from the window and knocking my curtains to the floor and chewing them up.